


Our Hearts Beat Together

by ailaikannu



Series: It Was Always You [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Clexa, Clexa Endgame, F/F, F/M, Linctavia - Freeform, Raven finds her soulmate, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, clexa au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 26,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailaikannu/pseuds/ailaikannu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to It Was Always You, in which Clarke and Lexa are soulmates. In this universe, whatever you write/draw on your skin appears on your soulmate's skin as well. This story is set five years after the ending of It Was Always You.<br/>A lot of love, fluff, eventual drama (you know me), Raven finally finds her soulmate. We're going to see Clarke still struggling with studying, Lexa working as a lawyer, Raven managing her garage and Octavia struggling to find a job.I'm going to write lots of past memories on this story, which you'll recognize because I wrote them in italics.<br/>(The rating might change, you know me, I enjoy cursing.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This One's for You

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said I'd post this on Monday... But you should know by now that I vibrate with the need of posting whenever I want to.

“You need to tell me why I decided it was a good idea to get a second degree. You need to tell me why you didn’t stop me. You need to tell me that I was drunk when I decided it would be a good idea to get a second degree.” Clarke sighed loudly, slamming her head on the book in front of her.

“Because you love art and you felt like it’d make your mother happy.” Lexa commented. “I didn’t stop you because you’re stubborn and you definitely were not drunk.”

Clarke looked at her in defeat. “I can’t believe I’m the only one who’s still studying. And this choice most definitely did not make my mother happy.”

“You chose the longest path, my love.” Lexa smiled at her. “And remember that I graduated last year, and I’m two years older than you.”

“I know, but it still feels like a long way to go. You graduated last year from law school, while I'm still working on my Master's degree. And you, Octavia and Raven all seem to have magically grown up and gone in a land of adulthood and responsibilities while I’m still here in my pyjamas drinking way too much coffee and sleeping way less than necessary.” Clarke pouted.

Lexa chuckled softly. “I’m pretty sure you’ll still have bad habits once you’re done with your Master's degree.”

“Yeah, which will be in a thousand years. You’ll probably have grandchildren when I graduate.”

“I guess if I will, you will as well.”

“You get what I mean.”

“I do, but don’t worry, alright ? You’ll get through this.”

“The thing that keeps me going is the idea that if I’d stuck with Biology and Med school, the path would be even longer. Maybe. I'm like twenty five and I'm still in college. I should have graduated last year... And yet.”

“You chose to do what you love and I’m proud of you for that. It just took you longer to get your bachelor's because you realised it wasn't your thing anymore. Art is the right path for you. I know you're struggling with having to study still, but I see that you like it. You were depressed during your bacherlor's, Clarke. Now, come on. Take a shower and whatever because you’re going to Raven’s.”

“Am I ?” Clarke looked genuinely surprised.

“Yes, I need the house to myself.”

“Why ?” Clarke asked, with one eyebrow raised.

“I need it to myself.”

“Lexa..”

“I said I need it to myself.” Lexa demanded, looking sternly at Clarke.

“Alright, Commander. I’ll take a shower and then leave.” Clarke eyedher suspiciously before going to the bathroom.

Lexa walked downstairs and grabbed her laptop. It was Saturday, but not a casual Saturday… It was their fifth anniversary and Lexa was ecstatic.

_“Okay, I need to do something, but I really don’t want you to freak out, okay ?”_

_“Well, that introduction surely doesn’t make me freak out. Nope. Not at all.”_

_“I’m nervous, okay ?”_

_“That’s a new one.” Lexa commented. “The almighty Clarke Griffin is nervous. Didn’t think I’d ever see that one.”_

_“You’re most definitely not helping me.” Clarke looked at her, a serious frown on her face.  
_

_“You’re right, I’m sorry. Go ahead.”_

_Clarke looked at her for a second before clearing her voice. They had been dating for what felt like ages to her, she felt like she’d known Lexa her whole life. In a world where time matters, Clarke could say that they’d been dating for approximatively two months._

_“Alright. I thought many times about this, I pictured this moment in my mind countless times, yet here I am, unable to speak.” She took a deep breath before taking both Lexa’s hand to hold. “I know we said we’d take this slow, but having you by my side makes my world brighter. I feel like I was living in a black and white world before you came along and now I’m finally seeing in colours. I want to make this official, Lexa. I want to scream at the world that you’re mine. Would you be my girlfriend ?”_

 

Lexa was lighting candles when her phone buzzing got her attention.

**TheGreatMechanic 6.45 p.m**

Hey-yo second half of Clexa, can I send blondie home yet ?

**Lexaaa 6.47 p.m**

I can’t believe you’ve never changed your screen name, it’s awful. Yes, you can send Clarke home.

**TheGreatMechanic 6.47 p.m**

I’ve never changed it because I’M STILL A FREAKING GREAT MECHANINC, DAMMIT WOODS ! She just left, saying “Lexa can’t keep me away from my own house for three hours without explaining why !”

**Lexaaa 6.51 p.m**

I know you’re a great mechanic, Reyes, that’s why my car is currently at your shop. Thanks for your help, I’ll go finish up with the candles.

**TheGreatMechanic 6.55 p.m**

PLEASE BE CAREFUL ! Don’t set the damn living room on fire, AGAIN

**Lexaaa 6.59 p.m**

It happened like once. And it definitely wasn’t my fault.

 

“Lexa !” She heard Clarke calling out. “I’m back, like it or not !”

She walked to meet Clarke in the hallway. “Oh.”

“What ?”

“I…. You…” Clarke swallowed hard. “You look amazing. Why do you look that amazing ?”

“Because it’s our anniversary dinner and I wanted to look good.”

“You looked good even when you had that stomach flu last year. You were green and kept vomiting all over the place and you looked gorgeous to me.”

“Your love for me is blinding, I’d say. You look very beautiful yourself, Clarke.” She grabbed the blonde’s hand and led her to the kitchen, where their dinner was waiting for them.

“Please tell me that what I smell are short ribs.”

“Braised for two hours and a half. Like you want them.” Lexa smiled at Clarke who was jumping excitedly towards the kitchen.

“How can you make me love you more than this ?”

“I have a few things in mind..” Lexa let her voice trail off and smirked.

“Sex doesn’t make me love you more.”

“I wasn’t talking about sex, dirty mind.” Lexa chuckled. “I guess you’ll see.”

They ate slowly, savouring every bite. Lexa was an amazing cook, as opposed to Clarke who could easily burn ramen if she didn’t pay attention. They drank wine and conversed peacefully about Lexa’s work and Clarke’s paintings.

“Now, follow me.” Lexa said, once they were done eating. “I want to give you something. I’ve been waiting to do this since this morning.”

Clarke followed Lexa silently to the living room, where the lights were off and the place was dimly candlelit. Clarke smiled at the sight and at Lexa’s undying love for candles. “Do you love them more than you love me ?”

“You’re the thing I love the most, my dear.”

As always, Lexa’s words melted Clarke’s heart. Lexa grabbed something from her pocket and handed it to Clarke.

“What is it ?”

“Just open it, you’ll see.” Clarke opened the small Tiffany box to find a ring. Her eyes widened in surprise and shot up at Lexa.

“Do not fret.” Lexa smiled. “It’s a promise ring, not an engagement ring.”

She took the box from Clarke’s hands and took the ring out. It was a tapered platinum band with round brilliant diamonds cradled in. Clarke offered her left ring finger and Lexa placed the ring on it.

“I want to marry you, Clarke. And I will. I want us both to have jobs, I want us to be steady. With this ring, I promise you I will marry you. I love you so much and I can’t imagine a life without you by my side. You’re the colour to my world, it almost feels like before meeting you I was gasping for air and I can finally breathe now that you’re with me. We’ve been together for five years now and I wanted you to know that I wish to spend the rest of my life by your side.”

Clarke was crying, a sea of tears rolling down her cheeks. She wrapped Lexa in a tight embrace and kept crying on her neck.

“I love you so much, Lexa.” She breathed hard. “You’ve made me the happiest person alive. I’m so glad I have you in my life because I was lost before I found you.”

They kissed, slowly, passionately, lovingly. One of Lexa’s hand was on Clarke’s cheek, while the other one rested on the blonde’s lap.

“Before I forget.” Lexa whispered. “It’s engraved.”

Clarke slowly took off the ring to examine it. It was truly beautiful. There were three words engraved inside it.

**Daisy, sunflower, delphinium.**

"Sunflower was what I drew the day we met, delphinium the one I drew when you drew back the first time, also, your favourite flower, but… Daisy ?” Clarke looked confused.

“It was the first flower to ever appear on my skin.” Lexa commented.

“But… It was like… I was thirteen ? How… How do you even remember that ?”

“Well, first of all I remember everything about you.” Lexa said and Clarke blushed profusely. “And I’m sure I’ll always remember that first shaky daisy you drew on your arm. I got so excited I started crying. It was embarrassing.”

 

_We're in this together, hear our hearts beat together ! We stand strong together, we're in this forever !_  
_This one's for you !_  
_Waving colored flag, we won't surrender, there's no standing down._  
_Love's a playing field, it's full of winners, we're breaking new ground._

  
 

 


	2. A Sky Full of Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to wait to post this. I really wanted to wait.  
> But, eh... You know me.  
> I decided who Raven's soulmate is going to be. You'll find out soon enough, stay tuned !

“Where are we going again next week ?”

“You need to stop asking me that.” She rolled her eyes at her girlfriend. “I’m not telling you shit.”

“Come on, Lexaaa !” Clarke whined. “Why are you always like this ?”

“You love me because I’m like this. So, suck it up. I won’t tell you anything.” Lexa chuckled. “I already told you how to dress, it should be more than enough.”

Clarke pouted. “I hate you.”

“Yes, of course you do.” Lexa laughed again. “Now, I need to go back to my notes. Stop being a big baby.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Alright miss I study even when I’m in bed, no wonder you’re a great lawyer already. You’re so bossy.”

“Shut up, I graduated like one year ago, I’m not a great lawyer. I’m just a lawyer.”

“Can you believe I’m still in college ?”

“I really can’t seeing the amount of partying you’ve been doing since I met you. I can’t believe all the alcohol you drank in the past five years hasn’t burnt all your brain cells. I’m surprised they still allow you to go there. And you’ll never get your Master’s if you don’t go back to studying and let me work on this stuff.” Lexa tried keeping a straight face, but laughed out loud instead.

“Can you please tell me why I got you as my girlfriend ?”

“The thing is, Clarke, that you didn’t exactly get me as a girlfriend. We’re soulmates, it’s not like you can get rid of me.”

“Can’t I ?” Clarke scratched her nose. “That’s a shame.”

“Oh, come on, Griffin. You love me.”

Clarke looked at her for a second. “I really do, even when you make fun of me. And when you’re bossy. Sometimes even when you help Raven pranking me. ”

“I love you, too. And it happened like once, she told me she wanted to surprise you !”

Clarke kissed her softly on the lips. It was a quick kiss and, even after five years, it still sent shivers down Lexa’s spine.

“Don’t go distracting me, I need to go to work.” Lexa smiled at her. “And you need to get up as well.”

Clarke sighed loudly and got up, heading to the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower and I already know that you won’t be there when I get out, so… Have a good day, I’ll see you later. I love you.”

“Have a good day, dear.” Lexa said. “I love you.”

She walked to the kitchen and made herself a tea to put in her thermos for work. She smiled remembering how her friends used to tell her that she would switch to coffee. She never did. Tea had a special place in her heart.

When she got back from work later that evening, she found Clarke asleep on their couch, with her face buried in a textbook. In reminded her of their times together in college.

_“You really need to sleep more, Clarke.”_

_“You know I would if I could.” The blonde said, yawning. “I don’t have time to sleep.”_

_“You study too much and maybe you should start going to less parties. Going back to your apartment at five in the morning four nights a week isn’t going to help you.”_

_“It’s college, Lexa ! Dammit ! You should loosen up a little and have more fun."  
_

_"I'm sorry I want to get my degree on time. I'll be graduating in a few months, I can't party and waste my time." Lexa whispered.  
_

_"So that's what you think I'm doing. Wasting my time, while you're the perfect student. Of course." Clarke was getting livid.  
_

_"I didn't say that."  
_

_"You didn't need to. I get it."  
_

_It was the first time they fought since they began dating. It was awful. Clarke had yelled a lot and it had made Lexa think about when Clarke had found out about them being soulmates. Lexa knew she was the calm one, she always tried to reason with Clarke, but the blonde always kind of ended up screaming at her. It was her way and Lexa accepted it, even if it made her heart ache._

It was seven thirty, and almost time for dinner. She decided to let Clarke sleep as she cooked some rice and chicken with curry and coconut milk. She hoped the noise in the kitchen wouldn’t wake Clarke, she was always scared of startling her awake. Clarke was a heavy sleeper, but Lexa was still as quiet as possible.

As she was setting the table, she heard Clarke stir on the couch. The blonde’s eyes fluttered open and began searching the room. She smiled as soon as her gaze fell on Lexa, who was looking at her.

“I told you to wake me when you get home and I’m asleep.” Her voice was still hoarse from sleep.

“And I told you that sleep is important and that this year is going to be soul draining, so I’m letting you sleep whenever you can.”

“You’re adorable.” Clarke smiled, rubbing her eyes.  


Lexa blushed. “I’m no such thing. Now, get up… Dinner’s ready.”

“I can already tell that what you made… I can smell the curry from here.”

“It’s not like the kitchen is a hundred miles away..” Lexa chuckled and Clarke rolled her eyes.

Lexa made her way to the kitchen to grab the food and she heard Clarke’s phone going off. She walked to the table as Clarke was picking it up.

“Hey, O, what’s up ? Let me put you on speaker.”

“Hello, Octavia.” Lexa spoke up.

“Hey guys, I know it’s a bit last minute… But since it’s my birthday today, I wanted to ask you if you were up for a few drinks with Lincoln, Raven and I tonight ?”

Clarke looked at Lexa for a second. She had to work in the morning and a night out drinking wasn’t the best thing to do right before heading to work.

“Yes, of course, we’ll be there.” Lexa said, much to Clarke’s surprise.

“Thank you guys, you’re the best ! Nine at Polaris ?” Octavia asked, excitedly.

“Yes, see you later !” Clarke said, before hanging up. “I didn’t think you’d say yes.”

“It’s Octavia’s birthday, and I can avoid drinking and have fun nevertheless.” Lexa said, taking a bite of her food.

“I know you can, I’m the one who drinks here.” Clarke laughed and Lexa nodded her head.

“You most definitely are… You know I’m a lightweight.”

“I remember when Raven dared you to play beer pong against her… But with Jägermeister instead.”

“Maybe you should have told me that Raven is a freaking beer pong Olympic champion !”

 _'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars, I'm gonna give you my heart._  
_'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars, 'Cause you light up the path._  
_I don't care, go on and tear me apart, I don't care if you do._  
_'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars, I think I saw you._  
  



	3. Army

They were getting ready for their night out with Octavia and Raven. Clarke was doing her hair, while Lexa fixed her make-up. Her signature black eye liner perfectly contoured her eyes and her hair was braided.

Lexa was wearing black ripped jeans and a green and black button up, while Clarke was wearing a long sleeved black dress, that got to her knees.

“You wore that on our first date.” Lexa commented. “Five years ago.”

“I did, I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“You know I can’t forget about you. Now, let’s go. It’s almost nine.”

They walked hand in hand to Polaris and not surprisingly got there before both Octavia and Raven, who were always kind of late. Clarke used to be a latecomer as well, but Lexa was always methodically early and would get anxious whenever they were late, so Clarke had to adjust. When they first met, Lexa wasn't as anxious about being late as she grew to be. Sometimes she would be late, but then in started bothering her and she started being fifteen minutes early everywhere she went.

Octavia and Lincoln were the first ones to get there after them. She was glowing with happiness, she looked radiant.

“Happy birthday, my girl !” Clarke said.

“Thank you, blondie !” Octavia hugged her tightly.

“Happy birthday, Octavia.” Lexa said, offering her hand.

“Thank you, Commander. It’s nice seeing you here.”

 She smiled at them. Raven joined them shortly after and they all walked inside Polaris. They went with tequila shots, their favourite.

The only thing that was different from their party nights in college was that Raven wasn’t dancing on a table, Octavia wasn’t picking up fights with anyone, Clarke wasn’t sleeping on the ground, Lexa wasn’t rolling her eyes at everyone insisting that she was fine and Lincoln wasn't laughing loudly at everyone. Clarke had been living with Lexa for the past three years and Octavia had moved in with Lincoln about a year after that. Raven had found a smaller apartment for herself, still too stubborn to look for her soulmate. She had decided that fate would bring them to her, she couldn’t go around chasing whoever her soulmate might be.

While Clarke, Octavia and Raven were doing shots, Lexa and Lincoln were talking.

“Wanna see who between us will take home the drunker woman ?” Lincoln asked.

Lexa glanced at Clarke who was downing her shots at a constant pace. “I think I’m going to win this time, cousin.”

“Yo, Clexa.” Raven called out. Both Clarke and Lexa looked at her. “Is that a ring I see on Clarke’s finger ?”

Clarke rolled her eyes and Lexa sighed loudly. “Yes, it’s a promise ring. Lexa gave it to me last night, on our fifth anniversary.”

“That’s like gorgeous, if that’s your promise ring I can’t wait to see your engagement ring, you go Woods !” Raven said, wriggling her eyebrows.

Lexa blushed, getting a bit uneasy. “You should be used to me by now, Woods.”

“I could never get used to you Reyes.” Lexa commented. “You’re a pain in the ass.”

“Rude !”

“I’m not rude, I’m just honest.”

“I need to drink because your girl is harassing me, Clarke !”

“She’s not harassing you, she’s saying the truth.” Clarke giggled. “Now, let’s go. We’re drinking again.”

Since everybody knew them at Polaris, Octavia’s birthday wasn’t a secret. With an excuse or another, people kept buying them drinks, which they gladly accepted. Lexa tried to avoid drinking too much, because her boss surely wouldn’t have liked hangover Lexa. Clarke, on the other hand, ended up drinking too much and being carried home by a sighing Lexa.

“I l-love you so much.” Clarke slurred.

“I figured.” Lexa sighed again. “I think you might have told me that you love me more times tonight rather than in our whole relationship.”

“You… You need to talk sl… Slower.” Clarke closed her eyes. “I don’t follow you.”

“It’s okay, we’re almost home.”

Clarke hummed in response, resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder. Once they got in front of their house, Lexa was positive that Clarke was asleep. She looked for her keys and proceeded to unlock the door. She walked upstairs and laid Clarke on their bed, carefully taking off her shoes and dress. She then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. A few moments later, she heard Clarke whining. She walked back to their bedroom to find the blonde sitting up, her hands covering her face.

“What’s wrong, love ?” She asked, concern spreading on her face.

“I…” Clarke was breathing hard. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Lexa didn’t have time to react, because Clarke was stumbling towards the bathroom a few moments later. She followed her silently and thanked the stars when the blonde reached the toilet just in time. A second later, she was bent over it, throwing up what looked like everything she’d eaten the past three weeks.

A few minutes later, she was sitting down, right next to the toilet, with one arm around it and her head resting on top of it.

“If you’re feeling better, you should go back to bed.” Lexa said.

“I can’t.”

“Why ? Do you still feel sick ?”

“I guess. And this is my new love.” Clarke smiled and Lexa couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“I thought I was your love.”

“Yes, but this is my love now. I’m sorry.” Clarke looked at her girlfriend who was smiling softly at her.

“It’s okay.” Lexa’s smile never faded.

“No, I meant I’m sorry for drinking this much. I shouldn’t have.” Clarke whispered, sheepishly.

“It’s okay, Clarke. I’m serious.” Lexa said, stroking Clarke’s hair.

“You have to get up early tomorrow, you should go to bed.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“I’ll be here, it’s not like I’ll run away. Indra will see the dark bags under your eyes tomorrow morning. And she’ll know it was my fault. She’ll come here to haunt me down.” Clarke chuckled lightly. “That woman is scary. She’s going to kill me.”

“Clarke.”

“Yes, okay. You’re staying here.” Clarke looked at Lexa with glossy eyes. “You did notice the I’m going to be sick thing, right ?”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “I did. Will you ever forget that moment ?”

“It’d mean forgetting the first time you told me that you loved me. The vomiting part added a bit of magic to the moment.” Clarke smirked at Lexa who looked annoyed.

“Me vomiting was the magic part ?”

“Definitely.”

_All the nights we've been drunk on the floor and yet you understand like no one can. We both know what they say about us, but they don't stand a chance because when I'm with you I'm standing with an army._  
 _Dark times, you could always find the bright side. I'm amazed by the things that you would sacrifice just to be there for me. How you cringe when you sing out of tune, but yet it's everything, so don't change a thin_ g.  
  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raven's soulmate coming soon..  
> ............................................................ Drama coming soon as well.


	4. Someone who needs me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why ? Because I'm nice, that's why.  
> :D

A few weeks after the night out with Octavia and Raven, Lexa found Clarke crying in their bedroom.

“Hey, love… Hey.” She sat down next to her girlfriend, stroking her hair. “You’re okay, I’m here.”

“I feel a bit tired of being the only one still in school.” Clarke sighed. “I mean, I feel like you’re all growing up and I’m here still banging my head on books that are taller than me.”

“Clarke.” Lexa lifted Clarke’s up so that she was facing her. “You chose to do what you love and I’m proud of you for that.”

“I know I chose to do what I love… But maybe I should have kept it a minor. I love art, everyone knows I do, but I think starting college again was a mistake. You have a thing for writing, but you kept it as your minor since you know artists don’t have a future.” Tears started silently rolling down her cheeks. Lexa wrapped her in a tight hug, letting Clarke rest her head on the crook of her neck.

“I’m sorry you feel this way, Clarke.” She whispered. “I kept creative writing as a minor because I knew I wasn’t an exceptional writer. You are an outstanding, artist. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I know being the only one still in school might be frustrating, but I guarantee it’ll be worth it.”

“How did I get so lucky ?”

“What ? What are you talking about ? You were on the edge of jumping out of the window like a second ago.” Lexa looked confused.

“Yes, but I’m still quite lucky. I have you.”

“Oh, dear. You’ll have me forever.”

“I really hope so. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d likely die because you can’t cook.”

Clarke smacked Lexa in the ribs. “I don’t think I’d die ! I can cook ! And take out is a thing !”

“Do I really need to remind you of that time when you burnt bacon ? Or when you somehow managed to set the oven on fire ? Or maybe when you decided it would be a good idea to put glass in the microwave. I could go on for hours, you know that.” Lexa laughed and Clarke pouted.

_“Fuck, shit, fuck !” Clarke’s voice made a clearly concerned Lexa run down the stairs to meet the blonde in the kitchen._

_“What happened ?” Lexa said, while entering the kitchen. She found Clarke with a bloody hand and glass scattered all over the place. “Oh my God, are you okay ?” She rushed to her girlfriend’s side, looking at her hand._

_“Go sit down, I’ll be there in a second.”_

_Clarke nodded and Lexa walked to the bathroom and grabbed a fresh cloth, some betadine and a few bandages. She walked back to where Clarke was sitting and begun cleansing the wound with water. She then applied the betadine, which made Clarke cringe._

_“Care to tell me why I found you like this ?”_

_“I made a mistake.” Clarke said, sheepishly._

_“What kind of mistake ?” Lexa asked, as she applied the bandages._

_“I put glass in the microwave… For too long. It exploded the moment I took it out. In my freaking hand.”_

“It’s because I’m distracted. You’re distracting.” Clarke smirked.

“I wasn’t there when you burnt the bacon, though.” Lexa smiled. “I need to go in my study for a while, will you be okay ?”

“Yes, I should probably study as well.”

“Please don’t try to cook.” She gave Clarke a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll see you later.”

Lexa ended up spending almost four hours in her study, buried in paperwork and notes. She loved her job and was determined to do everything perfectly. She kept studying even if she didn’t really need to, she liked to be prepared. Indra, her boss, often praised her for the extra work she did.

“Lexa ! Would you please come downstairs a minute ?” Clarke called out from their living room. Lexa glanced at her watch and realized she had spent the whole afternoon in her study.

“I’m so sorry, love. I didn’t realize I… “ When Lexa walked in their living room her jaw dropped. “What…”

She looked extremely confused, which made Clarke laugh softly. “I wanted to do something special for you.”

Lexa looked at her in awe. The living room floor was covered in rose petals and there were candles everywhere, much to Lexa’s liking. Clarke pointed her index to the couch, having Lexa follow her there. The brunette sat down, looking at Clarke.

“What is happening ? If you’re going to do what I think you’re doing, I swear I’m going to murder you, Clarke Griffin.”

Clarke’s melodic laughter filled the whole room. “You are not going to kill me.”

“Oh, yes I am.” Lexa looked dead serious.

When Clarke took a small box out of her pocket, Lexa gasped. “I told you I’d have to murder you. I really don’t want to go to prison for homicide.”

“Please, just stop blabbering.”

Lexa pouted, Clarke smiled tenderly at her. “I am not going to propose, don’t worry.”

Lexa seemed to soften quite visibly. She remained silent, looking at Clarke.

“Okay, so… I’ve been thinking about this since our fifth anniversary, when you gave me the ring. And I thought it wasn’t fair… I know it might be unoriginal, since you’ve already thought about this before I did… But I want you to know that I want to marry you and I will. I want to because I really feel this giant hole in my heart whenever I imagine a life without you. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before and it still surprises me how amazingly in love I am with you. So, this is a promise.”

She opened the box to reveal a small ring. Lexa’s heart skipped a beat and her eyes widened in surprise. She remained still before offering her right hand to Clarke.  She could feel the tears building up inside her eyes, but tried to keep quiet for as long as she could.

“Wait, it’s engraved.” The blonde smirked, which made Lexa laugh. She took the ring from Clarke’s hands and looked at it. It was a platinum ring with a flower made out of tiny diamonds. “It seemed fitting, flower girl.”

Lexa smiled. What seemed fitting to her was that she was obsessed with flowers and Clarke had always been drawing flowers on herself, even if her usual art was much different from that. They were soulmates, nothing could take that away from them. She had seen Clarke’s paintings from before they met, none of them had flowers. She never even sketched flowers. She only drew them on herself, she only drew them on Lexa.

She looked at the engraving and smiled at Clarke, a small tear rolling down her cheeks.

**I fucking love you.**

 

_ For once in my life I have someone who needs me. _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's ring : http://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/rings/flower-ring-GRP01843?fromGrid=1&search_params=p+1-n+1000-c+-s+5-r+-t+-ni+1-x+-lr+-hr+-ri+-mi+-pp+429+38&search=0&origin=browse&searchkeyword=&trackpdp=rv&fromcid=287466&trackgridpos=,#p+1-n+1000-c+-s+5-r+-t+-ni+1-x+-pu+-f+true+1-lr+-hr+-ri+-mi+-pp+429%2B38


	5. She keeps me warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this early, as always. I'm having a bad day and I thought posting this would help. Enjoy !

“Clarke !” Lexa called out. “When are you leaving again ?”

“At seven ! I’m about to shower !”

Lexa nodded, looking back at her notes. Clarke was headed out for a night with some friends from school, while she was going to have dinner with Octavia and Raven. It was Saturday night and Lexa was just finishing up with some work that needed to be done before Monday. When she heard Clarke turning off the shower and walking back to their bedroom, she walked to the bathroom to take a shower before leaving. When she was done, Clarke was still in their bedroom, applying make-up.

“You’re late.”

“Nope.”

“You’re late, it’s seven.”

“I’m leaving !”

“You’re not leaving. You’re putting on make-up and it looks like it’s going to take you at least ten more minutes. I’m probably going to head out before you even get a chance to finish.”

Clarke rolled her eyes playfully at Lexa. “It’s always like this. You know I’m always late.”

Lexa nodded silently, looking for something to wear. “What do you think I should wear ?”

“Where are you going for dinner ?”

“Harper’s.”

“Drinks afterwards ?”

“Likely.”

“Then the green and black button up that I love and some jeans !”

“You always make me wear that button up.” Lexa groaned, but eventually ended up looking for it.

“Because it’s amazing and I love it.” Clarke smiled at her. “I’m leaving, have fun with Octaven !”

“Octaven ? Really ?”

“Well, they do call us Clexa.”

“They’re not a couple, though.”

“I don’t care, Octaven it is.” Clarke said, her voice stern.

“Alright… Have fun, love ! I’ll see you later.”

Clarke left and Lexa finished getting ready. She ended up wearing the black and green button up with a pair of jeans and black shoes. She waited for Raven to come and pick her up and then they headed together to Harper’s, where Octavia was already waiting for them.

Knowing the owner was surely a good thing, because they were sitting a few minutes after coming in, even on a Saturday night. They all ordered burgers and wine, their usual. They ate peacefully, with Raven cracking a few jokes and telling stories about costumers she had.

“There was this guy who came in with a flat tire, which made me already mad, he looks at me for a second before deciding it’s time to talk to me. He stares, I stare… He asks me if he can talk to the owner, I calmly explain that I’m the owner… He stares again, his jaw basically hitting the ground. He remains silent, then snorts with laughter. I look at him, thinking maybe he’s high or something. He keeps sniggering, I’m annoyed. Then he talks. He fucking dares to tell me that he couldn’t believe a woman owned a garage, because it’s a man’s job. I roll my eyes so hard I think they might be sent to another dimension and tell him that if it’s a man’s job, maybe he shouldn’t seek help for a damn flat tire. He looks disappointed. I turn on my heels, he goes away. Why, girls… Why do I always get the worst costumers ?”

“That was quite a ride. You do get lots of jerks… But I am one of your costumers and I’m great.” Lexa commented, smirking. Raven was famous among their friends for frequently getting costumers who commented on her owning the garage. But she was a tough one and never let any of them win that kind of argument. Her snarky comments were definitely useful.

“Yeah, the only exception..” Raven sighed, taking a sip of her wine.

“At least you have a job to complain about.” Octavia commented. “I graduated eight months ago and I’m still unemployed.”

“You had that waitressing job..”

“Yeah, but that’s not what I want in my life. I even got a Master’s after my degree, but I’m useless anyways. Sometimes I’m jealous of Clarke.”

“If she heard you saying that, she’d smack you right in the face. She hates still being in school.” Lexa said, catching a glimpse of Raven's knowing smile.

“I know, but she doesn’t have to worry about looking for a job…”

“You could come and work with me.” Raven commented.

“Work with you ?" Octavia asked "You’re a mechanic ? I’m an accountant ?”

“You could be my accountant.” Raven shrugged.

“I couldn’t… Or could I ?”

“You could. You should.”

Lexa laughed. “Finally someone could manage Raven’s finances !”

Octavia still looked uncertain. “I like the idea of working with you.”

“Then come and work with me.”

“Yes.” Octavia said. “I will.”

Raven offered her hand to shake. “Welcome on board, partner.”

Octavia smiled at her and sipped her wine. “We should go celebrate at Polaris.”

Raven and Lexa nodded. “Let’s use that as an excuse to drink, I like it.”

They walked to Polaris, Raven and Octavia were talking about the garage and Lexa enjoyed walking silently. They got to the bar and ordered some cocktails to sip while looking around. Their friends were usually there, it was their spot since before graduating college.

She saw a long haired boy walking towards them, with a bright smile on his face. She didn’t miss Octavia glancing worriedly at Raven, who had wide eyes.

“Hello girls.” They boy said. “Isn’t Clarke with you ?”

How did he know Clarke ? Who was he ? Lexa had never seen him before. She would have remembered him.

Raven shrugged. “Nope, not tonight.”

“I see… Would you mind thanking her for the few dinners we had ? It was quite pleasant.”

Lexa’s blood froze on the spot.

She saw Raven nodding and the boy walking away, while Octavia grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“What was he talking about ?” She managed to ask. Her voice was trembling and her eyes were getting watery, but she tried to hide it the best way she could.

“I have no idea.” Octavia shrugged.

“I saw the way you looked at Raven when he came to talk to us. Who’s that boy ? And why does he know Clarke ? Why have I never seen him ?”

Raven cleared her voice. “I really don’t think we should talk about him… Tequila anyone ?”

Octavia laughed nervously.

“Why are you both being so weird about him ?”

“We’re not being weird about him… We’re just… I mean, it doesn’t really ma-…”

“Who the fuck is that boy ?”

Raven looked at Octavia for a second. She nodded slightly, swallowing hard.

“That was Finn. Clarke’s ex.”

 

_She says I smell like safety and home, I named both of her eyes “Forever” and “Please don’t go”._   
_I could be a morning sunrise all the time, all the time yeah, this could be good._   
_And I can’t change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to_   
_My love, my love, my love, my love, she keeps me warm, she keeps me warm._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So drama IS coming.


	6. I know I'm not the only one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back.   
> I'm still shocked by what happened in Orlando. I don't even know what to say. But we don't give in to fear, we're stronger. I hope you guys are all okay, I know this is going to hurt for a long time and I can't help but think about the victims' families and friends. It's unfair, 50 people died and there were 53 wounded because a man was MAD because he saw two men kissing. How is this the world we live in ? How is this something that happens in reality ? How is seeing two people in love a motive for mass murder ? I can't even believe I'm writing this. It shouldn't be happening. We're not only being killed in tv shows anymore, now this is happening.  
> I'm so devastated.

Clarke got home pretty early, and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. She took off her make-up and put her hair up in a messy bun. She walked to the living room, turning on the tv and looking for a movie to watch, determined to stay awake till Lexa came back. She fell asleep before the opening credits were over.

She was startled awake in the middle of the night when she heard someone knocking on the front door. It couldn't be Lexa, she never forgot her keys. She glanced at the her phone, it was almost three in the morning. She suddenly got scared something might have happened to her girlfriend. She opened the door to find Lexa sitting on the ground, Octavia kneeled next to her at the far end of thei driveway, trying to convince her to get up and Raven looking at her with a weird frown.

“I’m sorry.” She said. She didn’t look drunk at all and neither did Octavia.

Clarke was confused.

Lexa didn’t really like getting drunk.

She said she didn’t like the idea of not being in control.

Her composed and confident self would turn into a babbling and incoherent mess whenver she drank.

Her usually resourceful and acute mind would be blurry, illogical and confused whenever she got drunk.

“What the hell happened ?” She grabbed her shoes to go and get Lexa, but Raven raised her hand, stopping her.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t go near her.”

Clarke got even more confused. “What are talking about ? Lexa’s my girlfriend.”

Raven took a deep breath. “She tried to punch me because we took her here. I’m glad the alcohol apparently gave her limbs a brain of their own and they’re not following her orders. She said she didn’t want to see you, nor sleep in your house.”

“Raven can you please tell me why the fuck you’re keeping me away from my girlfriend ?” She was getting impatient, glaring at Raven who looked like someone who’d just committed murder and then looking at Octavia who was desperately trying to reason with Lexa who kept shaking her head. “And why is she wasted when neither you nor Octavia look even tipsy ?”

“Calm down.” Raven whispered. “We saw Finn tonight.”

“You saw Finn ? That’s it ? Is that your explanation ?” Clarke felt relieved.

“He came to talk to us.”

Clarke’s eyes widened. Her heart was racing in her chest. “What… What did he say ?”

Raven shook her head and breathed hard. “He asked us to thank you for the few dinners you’ve had together.” Raven sighed.

Clarke’s heart stopped. She never thought Finn would talk to them. He never went to Harper’s. He hated Polaris. He didn’t even like Raven, why would he go and talk to her ? She didn’t know what to say, what was there to say ?

“She started downing shots like crazy, we tried to calm her down, but she told us she was going to the bathroom and disappeared on us for like half an hour. We looked for her everywhere, but she was nowhere to be found. It took us a while, but we eventually found her in the back of Polaris, an empty bottle of Tequila by her side. We don't even know how she found that.”

She was startled by the noise Lexa made while getting up. She was hammered, and groaning loudly at every movement she did. She was stumbling towards her, with Octavia by her side. Lexa wasn’t looking at her, her gaze was fixed on the ground as she marched forward. Once she was close enough to Raven, she lifted her chin up to face her.

“Take me to Anya’s.” Her voice was hoarse, broken. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen.

Raven looked at Clarke.

“What ?” Clarke blurted out. “Why are you going there ? You live _here_ , with _me_.”

Lexa ignored her. “Raven. Take me to Anya’s or I’ll go myself.” They all knew that Lexa couldn’t drive in the state she was, and none of them was willing to end the night with a tragedy. 

“Lexa, please, hear me out.” Clarke begged.

Lexa was breathing hard. She turned around to face Clarke, who felt a cold shiver running down her spine when her eyes met Lexa’s.

The usually bright forest green eyes had turned into a somehow darker colour, and were swollen and red. Lexa had shed tears because of her. Because of a stupid lie.

“Are you cheating on me ?”

Clarke looked at her in disbelief. “What ? I.. No. I’m not. Why would you say that ?”

“Why would you lie about Finn, then ?” Her voice was clearly full of venom when she pronounced the boy’s name.

“I…” Clarke swallowed hard. “I don’t know. I thought you wouldn’t like it and… I don’t know, I’m sorry. Lexa, please... I love you.”

“That sounds convincing.” Lexa’s voice was monotonic, almost robotic. She turned to Raven again. “Take me to Anya’s.”

Raven nodded, muttering “I’m sorry” to Clarke who was standing there, speechless. Lexa turned on her heels and stormed off, Raven trailing behind her. Octavia was right by Clarke’s side, hugging her, the moment she saw Clarke starting to shake. She was sobbing, cursing herself for lying to Lexa.

Once they were in the car, Lexa looked at Raven for a full minute before talking.

“Did you know about this ?”

“I’m not going to talk to you about it.”

Lexa started crying, silently, but consistently. The alcohol in her veins wasn’t helping and she suddenly regretting all the shots she downed back at Polaris. Her head was pounding and her eyes were burning.

“Listen, you need to calm down and figure your shit out. I’m taking you to your sister’s just because I want you to chill for a minute, but we’ll go back to your damn house and you’ll hear Clarke out. I also wanted to point out that for someone who smells like a distillery, you still somehow manage to be quite articulate when you speak. Impressive. ” 

“I don’t want to see her.” Lexa stated. 

“You have to.”

“I hate lies, Raven. After lying to Clarke that one time I realized that they suck and that they’re useless and only cause harm.” She wipes the tears away from her eyes. “She knows I hate lies, she knows she’s not supposed to hide stuff from me. Why would she lie to me if nothing happened with that boy ?”

Raven remained silent and she pulled into Anya’s driveway. Lexa kept crying as they walked to the door. She rang the bell once, then twice, then a third time. “Anya, it’s me.”

She heard movements from inside and then a groggy looking Anya opened the door. “Lexa, why the fu-… Damn. What happened to you ?”

Lexa groaned loudly and walked inside, Anya motioned for Raven to follow them inside. Lexa sat down on the couch, hiding her face in her hands. She was shaking, crying harder and harder.

“I… Uhm…” Raven said, unsure. “I’m Raven, by the way.”

“Right. I’m Anya, Lexa’s sister.”

Raven smiled at her and waited for Lexa to calm down. “Clarke’s cheating on me.”

“The fuck. She what ? I’m going to fucking kill her, what the fuck, where are my keys” Anya yelled, walking back and forth. “I fucking told her, don’t you dare hurting my sister because I’ll rip your damn throat out.”

“Uhm… We don’t really know if she cheated..” Raven said, visibly scared by Anya’s reaction. She couldn’t blame her, though. She kind of felt the same. Her friendship with Clarke was stronger, of course… But she could see why Anya felt the need to harm her.

“Oh, come on, Reyes. She did. There was this guy we met tonight, he asked us to thank Clarke for the few dinners they’ve had together. I was told he’s Clarke’s ex. I’ve never even heard her talking about him. Why would she lie to me if nothing happened ?” Lexa asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m going to shoot her.”

Anya stormed off, slamming the door behind her back. When she got out, she found Clarke standing in the middle of her driveway.

“The fuck you doing here ?”

Clarke looked at her sheepishly. Her eyes were swollen and watery.

“Anya..”

Anya was soon in front of her, shoving the blonde to the ground. “You stay the fuck away from my sister.”

 

_I wish this would be over now, but I know that I still need you here._   
_You say I'm crazy, cause you don't think I know what you've done. But when you call me baby, I know I'm not the only one._   
_I have loved you for many years, maybe I am just not enough. You've made me realize my deepest fear, by lying and tearing us up._


	7. Cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading this now and also because I got bad reactions to Lexa's behaviour, so... Here you go, enjoy.

“It feels like five years ago all over again.” Anya sighed. “Did you know about the guy ?”

Raven shook her head. “Clarke told us they were texting and that was it.”

Anya nodded. “I feel kind of sorry for pushing Clarke.”

“You pushed Clarke ?” Raven’s eyes widened. “I thought you were just yelling at her ! That’s so badass.”

“It seemed fitting, she deserved it. I know she’s one fragile chick, though.” Anya said, shrugging.

“You shouldn’t have pushed her.”

They both turned around to see Lexa standing in the middle of the living room. She had decided to take a shower after one hour spent sitting next to the toilet, hoping the warm water would make her feel better. It didn’t.

“She hurt you. You’re my sister.” Anya said.

“When did you push her ?” Lexa asked.

“When I stormed off, she was outside.” Anya explained.

“Is she still there ?”

“I guess.”

Lexa turned to Raven. “Tell her to go away. I won’t talk to her, but it’s cold outside, I don’t want her to get sick.”

“Are you sure ?” Raven asked.

“Yes. I… I will talk to her, just not now. Go tell her, then come back here.”

Raven nodded and walked outside.

Clarke gasped when the door swung open and felt disappointed when she realized it was Raven. “Clarke, go home.” She said. “Lexa needs to be alone.”

“Raven, you know I didn’t cheat on her.”

“How exactly do you expect me to be sure ?” Raven’s voice was stern. “Listen, I love you, Clarke. I really do. But you lied to us. All of us. Why ?”

“I need to talk to her.”

“You can’t. She doesn’t want to see you.”

“I love her, Raven. With all I have.”

_“How does it feel ?”_

_“What ?”_

_“To have your soulmate, you dumbass.” Raven smirked at her._

_“Have you asked Octavia ?”_

_“How am I supposed to ask Octavia when she’s never here ?” Raven laughed. “Come on, tell me.”_

_“I thought you didn’t care.”_

_“I don’t care about finding my soulmate. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about yours.”_

_“It feels amazing.” Clarke begun. “I don’t even know how to describe it to you. I feel like my heart gets bigger every time I see her. The air just feels fresher now that she’s here. Everything has a new purpose, a new meaning. She’s so beautiful, in the outside, and even more in the inside. She’s caring and always willing to sacrifice everything to make me happy. She’s lovely. She always asks me if I’m okay, if there’s anything bothering me, if a particular situation makes me uncomfortable so that she can fix it. Did you know that the morning I had my genetics and genomics exam and I was awake at five in the morning she came here to bring me brownies and coffee ? She was sleepy and kept yawning and she made my heart swell with love.”_

_“I see. That kind of makes sense.” Raven smiled at her._

_“Does it ? I feel like I’m blabbering.”_

_“You are, that’s why I understand.” Raven smirked. “I like what she did to you. I’m glad you found her.”_

_“You’ll find yours as well, don’t worry.”_

_“I’m not worried, I’m alright… Single and ready to mingle !”_

“I know you do. And she does to, give her some space and time. She said she will talk to you, just not now. Go home, get some sleep. She’ll be safe, here.”

Clarke nodded slightly. “I’ll go home. Are you staying here ?”

“She asked me to get back in once I was done talking to you. I’ll text you when and if I go home, alright ?”

Clarke hugged her tightly. “Thank you.”

Raven nodded before walking back inside.

“What did she say ?” Lexa asked. She looked calmer.

“She said she didn’t cheat on you and that she loves you. I told her you’ll talk to her when you’re ready and that you’ll be safe here.”

“Okay. I’m glad tomorrow’s Sunday, I don’t think I’ll get to sleep tonight.” Lexa shared a faint smile.

“You should sleep. It’ll help you clear your mind. Raven, are you staying ?”

“I… I don’t think I should…”

“I have a spare bedroom, Lexa can sleep with me. It’s like four in the morning and it looks like it’s going to snow. Plus, I need someone to help me take care of my little sister.” Anya smiled, which was new.

“Can you… Can you guys just stay here with me for a while ?”

Anya and Raven both nodded. They sat silently on the couch, till Lexa spoke up.

“Guys, please… Talk ? Like, to each other ? This silence is killing me. I can’t hear myself think anymore.”

“I… Uhm… Well, I… I’m 25, for starters. I’m a mechanic. I own a garage downtown.”

“I work in a lab for a pharmacy industry, I know, boring… I love cars.”

“You do ? I bet you’re going to tell me you own a damn mini cooper with a flag on the top.”

“How dare you ?” Anya’s voice somehow managed to be playfully stern. “You’re insulting me. I’m guessing you wouldn’t want to see my 1969 Chevrolet Camaro.”

“You got a Camaro ? Here ? I so need to see it !” Raven exclaimed, excitedly. Lexa chuckled softly. Anya smirked.

“I told you I’d find someone to appreciate my ol’ lady Augusta.”

“I’ll let you know that I’m a proud owner of a 1978 Jeep CJ5 named Hazel.”

“Lexa ! See ! I told you I couldn’t be the only one naming their car !”

“You’re both nuts. Probably why I love you. Now, since both of your cars are here… Go be nerds !”

Anya and Raven left, leaving Lexa alone on the couch. She was sitting there, unsure of what to do. She desperately wanted to talk to Clarke, but the idea of seeing her made her heart ache. The moment the blonde had opened the door for Raven and Lexa had looked up, Lexa had felt like she was going to pass out.

The concern in Clarke’s eyes made her cringe.

She stared at her right arm, where a few markings were appearing. She felt a single tear on her cheek and quickly wiped it away.

**I love you.**

Lexa knew that Clarke loved her. If Clarke was saying the truth, this wasn’t going to be the ending to their relationship. She kept hoping and hoping that Clarke’s dinners with Finn were meaningless. She wanted the whole thing to be a dream, because reality sucked. And Lexa was angry, which she never was.

**I know you do.**

 

_Whenever I see you I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue, pretend I'm okay with it all, act like there's nothing wrong_  
 _Is it over yet ? Can I open my eyes ? Is this as hard as it gets ?_  
 _Is this what it feels like to really cry ?_ ****  
  



	8. Fix you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again

“Octavia I can’t believe I did this shit.” Clarke said, her voice muffled by her hands covering her whole face. She was still crying silent tears, her body was still shaking slightly. 

“Me neither. But it happened, and now it’s time to fix it.” Octavia said, her hand on the blonde's shoulder. “You fucked up, but it’s okay. It happens. It happened to Lexa, it happened to me with Lincoln, it will happen to Raven. Nobody’s perfect, you are allowed to make mistakes.”

“I think Raven’s mad at me as well. And you too.” Clarke's voice was hoarse, broken. 

“Neither of us is mad at you, Clarke. We do feel a bit sad because you lied to us as well, but… It’s not like it’s our business.”

“I know, but… I fucked up, that’s it. Will you ever forgive me ? Because I’m not sure Lexa will.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Clarke. Raven and I are your best friends, we understand. I’m pretty certain Lexa will forgive you, just give her some time…”

“Have you ever heard of soulmates not ending up together ? Or like, getting together and then breaking up ?”

The brunette shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Octavia…”

“Alright, I have. But it’s like super rare. And for, like… Really fucking serious stuff." Octavia explained. "I’ve heard of a couple who broke up because the man slept with his soulmate’s sister. And a couple of men who lived happily together for like fifteen years, they even had kids. Then one of them had a sort of psychotic breakdown and killed one of their children, they broke up when he went to prison. I think Lincoln told me once about two people who both refused to acknowledge the whole soulmate thing and they wouldn’t get together. It doesn’t happen as frequently as you think it does. I know you didn’t cheat on Lexa, this will not separate you.”

“I’m scared she might leave me.” Clarke whimpered.

“She won’t. She loves you so much, sometimes I’m kind of jealous because I know you own her heart. And her soul. And her everything.”

“I hope you’re right.” Clarke sighed loudly. “I love you, O.” Clarke smiled weakly at her. “Thank you for being here.”

“I love you too, baby Griff. Do you want me to stay the night ?”

Clarke nodded slightly. “It’s late, you don’t have your car here and I really don’t feel like driving… Plus, I need someone to be by my side. You can sleep in the guest room, I can give you some of my pyjamas.”

“Yeah, that would be nice… Are you going to bed ?”

“I’m not sure. I guess I will at some point. I might just stay here for a while, though…”

“That’s alright. Do you want me to stay with you ?”

“No, it’s enough to know that you’re here.”

“Alright then. Goodnight, Clarkie. Wake me if you feel like shooting yourself or something.”

“I will. Goodnight, O. Thank you.”

Octavia just nodded before going upstairs to get some sleep. After all, it was almost dawn. Clarke sat on the couch, knowing she wouldn’t get any sleep.

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Lexa looked at Anya and Raven, who were both asleep on the couch next to her. It was eight in the morning, she had never even closed her eyes. She was afraid sleeping would bring her nightmares. She was afraid sleeping would make her imagine Clarke with that boy. She got up and made some coffee for the pair and left a note on the counter, before leaving.

**_Thank you both for staying with me. I took ol’ lady Augusta to go back home (I’ll bring her here unharmed later)._ **

**_Lexa._ **

She drove back to her house, glad to find both Clarke’s car and hers in the driveway. She parked Anya’s car next to hers and walked to the front door.

“Clarke ?”

Lexa closed the door behind her back and walked to the living room, where she found Clarke on the couch. The blonde was staring at the wall in front of her, with her back to Lexa.

“I’m sorry I ran away.” Lexa sighed. “I should have stayed and talked to you, it was the mature thing to do.

Clarke remained silent.

“I’m willing to listen, now.”

Clarke slowly turned around and Lexa felt her heart stop for a second. Clarke’s usually bright blue eyes were glossy, swollen, red. Her face was marked by the hours she had spent crying.

“We promised we wouldn’t lie. It was my idea.” Her voice was soft, like a whisper. “And yet, I thought lying to you would be smart. Nothing happened between Finn and I. I lied to you because I thought that if I were you, I’d die knowing you were having dinner with your ex. I know the right thing to do was to avoid having dinner with him, but… We dated a long time ago, I thought it would be nice to catch up. I never meant for any of this to cause you harm. I know I swore to be honest with you at all times, but I made a mistake. A mistake that made you cry. A mistake that hurt you so much you had to run away from me to protect yourself. I know I was wrong when I decided to lie to you… But… I would never cheat on you. Never. I love you so much it hurts, I can’t bear to see you like this. I know you didn’t sleep, I can tell… And I feel sick to my stomach, because I know it was my fault. We both suffered for a stupid lie. I…”

Clarke sighed loudly, feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks once again. She wiped them off with her fingers, before taking a deep breath.

“The idea of losing you terrifies me. I thought those dinners with Finn were harmless, only now I’m realizing how badly I hurt you. I’m so sorry. Please… Come back to me.”

Lexa remained silent, watching tears rolling down Clarke’s cheeks. The blonde in front of her looked devastated, the spark in her eyes replaced by a thin layer of sadness. Clarke somehow still managed to look hopeful.

“Nothing will ever break us up, Clarke.” Lexa took a deep breath. “I won’t allow it.”

Clarke started sobbing loudly. “I’m… I’m so sorry, I should have never lied to you.”

“You shouldn’t have, you’re right. Clarke, you’re the person I trust the most in this world. But you can’t pull this kind of tricks on me, because you’ll kill me. I know I’m always calm and whatever, but I need you to be honest with me. I’m going to ask you this question one more time.

Did you cheat on me ?”

“No. I did not.”

“Okay.” Lexa took a deep breath, swallowing hard. “I believe you.”

“You don’t have to tell me that you believe me if you don’t. I know you wrote back last night to make me feel better, and I know you came back because of me. I know you always do stuff to protect me, but I want you to know that if you need more time, I’m willing to give it to you. If you need more time to think about this, I’ll give you more time. If you need you space to stay away from me, I’ll give you more space. I’m really glad you listened to me, I’m glad I got to tell you that I would never intentionally harm you. You’re always protecting me, protect yourself for once.”

“Is this code for leave me, I don’t want to see you ?”

“No, it’s code for I understand if you need to stay away from me.”

Lexa looked at her. “I don’t need to stay away from you. The only time I did that I ended up sleep deprived and constantly crying. That’s not the kind of life I want to lead. I need you by my side.”

“Okay.” Clarke smiled. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“You knew I’d say that.” Lexa smirked. “Now, let me ask you a few questions, please be honest. How many dinners did you have with Finn ?”

“Uhm… Three.”

“When ?”

“All before Octavia’s birthday, except for one a couple of days ago.”

Lexa nodded her head. “I see. Did he know about me ?”

“Yes, I told him about you on our first dinner.”

“And how did he react ?”

“He said he was happy for me. Glad I finally found my soulmate. Told me I deserved it. Showed me a picture of his daughter.”

“His daughter ?”

“Yes, he said he found his soulmate soon after he broke up with me. Married her when he turned eighteen, they had their daughter three years later and his wife died last year.”

“ I still don't understand why didn’t you tell me about him, though ?”

“Do you remember when I was talking to you about that sort of abusive ex I had ?”

_“My exes ? Your asking me as if I’d had a thousand partners before finding you.” Clarke laughed._

_“Well, I’ve only been with Costia before you and I’ve told you everything about her, now… Your turn.”_

_“You’re right ! Well, I was with a boy when I was like fourteen, it lasted a couple of months. Then I was with a girl from my neighbourhood when I was like fifteen. She was my first proper girlfriend, but it didn’t last long, of course… Then I met this guy when I was a Junior in High School… He was fun and cute and the beginning, but then he started being… Kind of weird. He wouldn’t let me see Raven because he said she was bad influence and because she was his ex, and Octavia because he just didn’t like her. So I ended up alone, having only him by my side. I realized staying with him was a mistake, and decided to break up with him. He didn’t take it well… He kept calling me and coming to my house during the night, he used to follow me everywhere when we were in school and he even threatened to hurt me if I didn’t get back to him. He never did and suddenly disappeared from my life.”_

_“I hope you never have to see him again. Hell, I hope I never get to meet him. I’d probably murder him.”_

 

__ When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need, when you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse.   
When the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace, when you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse ?  
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. I will try to fix you.


	9. In my veins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos ! I wanted to let you know that this story is going to have around eighteen/twenty chapter, so it's slightly longer than It Was Always You.

“Finn… Was… The abusive boyfriend ?” Lexa asked, concerned.

“Yes.”

“He has a daughter now.”

Clarke nodded.

 “Do you think he would hurt her ?”

“No, I saw him… He’s… Different. I think his wife’s death changed him for good. Or just finding his soulmate made him a better person.”

“I hope so.” Lexa breathed hard. “Don’t lie to me ever again.”

“I won’t. I’m so sorry this had to happen. I know you hate lies, I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.”

“I know I lied to you in the past as well. I kind of understand why you did what you did… I lied to you five years ago because I wanted to protect you. I wanted to protect us. I knew we were meant to end up together at some point, but I was so scared… Not only because of Costia and myself in general, but even because I thought I couldn’t be good for you. I thought you deserved someone better than me.”

“You thought I deserved better ?”

Lexa nodded slightly.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled shyly at her. “I was in a bad place when we met. I felt like I was going to be a burden. I’m kind of sad we got to this point. I mean… You felt the need to lie to me.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I thought lying to you would be a good idea. And I don’t even know why I thought lying to both Octavia and Raven was a good idea. I feel so stupid. I feel… You were scared of not being enough, yet here I am… Not being enough.”

“You are more than enough.”

“How can you be so reassuring even when I’m being a shitty girlfriend ?”

“As Raven’s cockiness would say, I’m amazing.”

“I was so scared, Lexa.”

Lexa looked at her, nodding her head. “I know. I'm really sorry I assumed you cheated... I wan't expecting it and I went crazy, I couldn't think clearly. I’m going back to my sister’s place, she’s going to flip once she realizes I took Augusta.”

“That's okay... I think I would react the same way." Clarke smiled softly at her. "You took Augusta ? She’s so going to kill you.”

“I think she expressed her anger last night, when she pushed you.”

“She didn’t push me, she shoved me to the fucking ground. That girl is strong.”

Lexa laughed and got up to leave.

“Lexa, wait.”

She turned around to face Clarke.

“Are we… Are we okay ?”

“Not quite, but we will be.”

Lexa walked away, leaving Clarke alone once again. She quietly drove back to Anya’s place, where she found Anya and Raven still on the couch, sleeping. She noticed that Raven’s arm was on Anya’s stomach, who looked peaceful.

Lexa coughed to wake them up and was surprised when a startled Raven shot up to her feet.

“What happened ?”

“Raven.” Lexa said, laughing lightly. “It’s just me, I came back.”

“Where were you ?” Raven asked, confused. “And why isn’t this one awake yet ?”

“I went to talk to Clarke.” Lexa explained. “And Anya is most definitely not a light sleeper. I could have dropped a bomb right here and she’d still be asleep.”

“You went to talk to Clarke ? How did that go ? And are we going to let her sleep ?”

“Yes, it was okay. Clarke explained the whole Finn thing. I think I understood it a bit better. And don’t wake Anya up, or she’ll murder you. I brought coffee. I made something before leaving, but I figured it would be cold and gross by now.”

“You’re a goddess.”

“Not the first time I hear you say that.”

“Because you are.” Raven said, before sipping her coffee. “You brought us coffee even if you don’t drink it.”

“It’s a thank you for staying here. I know you probably wanted to be by Clarke’s side.”

“I was fine here, you’re my friend too. I’m kind of upset because she lied to us as well… And I still can’t picture why. Though I might have overreacted a bit.”

“She probably thought you’d be mad because of all the abusive shit he did.”

“Yeah, probably… That girl is crazy.”  Raven sighed loudly. “When they were together I thought he might hurt her somehow… And I believe she felt the same way too. She said she broke up with him because she needed her freedom, but I think she realized he might have hurt her.”

“She is crazy. She told me he seemed different, she said he’s changed. He even has a daughter now.”

“A daughter ? Finn Collins has a daughter ?” Raven’s eyes were wide with surprise.

Lexa nodded. “And a dead wife as well.”

“Oh, wow…” Raven sighed. “I was going to wait for Anya to get up before leaving but I really need to go home and she doesn’t look like she’s going to wake up any soon, so… Would you mind thanking her for me ?” 

“Yeah, sure… No problem. Thank you Raven, for being here.” Lexa said, hugging Raven.

“Not a problem, Commander. You know where to find me if you need me.”

Lexa nodded, letting Raven leave. She walked to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for Anya, who would probably wake up cranky.

When Anya finally did wake up, Lexa brought her pancakes and a cup of coffee, which Anya thankfully accepted.

Anya groaned. “What time is it ?”

“Almost ten, it’s not that early, grumpy cat.”

“Well, it’s Sunday… It’s pretty early.” Anya rolled her eyes, taking a bite of her pancakes.

“It is pretty early, then, yes.” Lexa breathed hard. “I went to see Clarke.”

“You… Wait, where’s Raven ? You went to see Clarke ?”

“Raven had to leave, I think she had some stuff to do at her garage. And yes, I went to see Clarke. I wanted to wait, but I just couldn’t.”

“I know you can’t stay away from her for too long. I mean, I know you can’t when you’re not speaking to each other. You definitely can when we take our sister vacations.” Anya smirked, finishing her pancakes.

“Those are amazing, we should organize one soon.”

“We should. I was thinking about inviting Raven to my birthday thing this year.”

Lexa’s eyebrows shot to her hairline. “I thought you said only family was allowed to come.”

“I know.” Anya stated.

“Anya…”

“What ?”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking ?”

“What would that be ?”

“That Raven’s your soulmate.”

Anya chocked on her coffee. “What ? No, absolutely not. Why would you say that ?”

“Well, maybe the fact that her soulmate writes chemical stuff might have given it away. And you both being car nerds. And assholes.”

Anya laughed, nudging her sister lightly. “You know I don’t write on myself.”

“Except you do. When you’re busy, or focused. I’ve seen you do it.”

Anya looked at her for a second. “Raven’s not my soulmate.”

“If you say so.” Lexa shrugged. “I’m going to text her to let her know that she’s invited.”

**Lexaaa 10.12 a.m**

Hello, Raven. I know you left one hour ago, but I wanted to ask you if you maybe wanted to come to my sister’s birthday thing ? She asked me to invite you.

**TheGreatMechanic 10.15 a.m**

As in a birthday party ?

**Lexaaa 10.17 a.m**

I wouldn’t describe it as a party. It’s like a thing at her place… With pizza, Chinese take out and booze. Possibly with either stupid movies or board games. Usually with both.

**TheGreatMechanic 10.23 a.m**

I’m in. When ?

**Lexaaa 10.27 a.m**

Saturday, 7 p.m

 

“She said yes.”

Anya tried to hide the faint smile that appeared on her face. “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy, you can be.”

 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Clarke was still sitting on the couch, staring at her phone. On the display, she kept looking at one specific contact.

**Ravenclaw asshole mechanic**

She couldn’t bring herself to press dial, even if the urge to talk to her best friend was suffocating. She was startled by a soft knock on the door and got up to see who it was. She felt like crying when she realized that the woman standing near her front door was Raven.

“Raven..”

Raven didn’t let her go on and threw her arms around Clarke’s neck. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“That’s okay. I fucked up.” Clarke said, feeling tears forming in her eyes, again.

They walked inside and sat back down on the couch. “I don’t want you to think that I’m mad at you, Clarke. I was upset because you lied to us, about damn Finn ! Again !”

“I know, I shouldn’t have done that. I regret all the damn lies I told. I was… Scared. Of Lexa’s reaction because I was having stupid, meaningless dinners with my ex. About your reaction because I know you and Octavia hated him for what he did to me.”

“Clarke, I know. No need to apologize, I’m serious.”

“I want to apologize because I was a shitty girlfriend and a shitty friend at the same time.”

“Hey, it’s okay. You made a mistake, and I did too. I overreacted for something that shouldn’t bother me.”

Clarke sighed. “I’m sorry I made this happen.”

“It’s okay. And I know Octavia feels the same. Now it’s time to make Lexa feel the same as well.”

“I kind of talked to her about the whole thing. She was pretty understanding, probably because I ended up telling her everything.”

“I’m glad you did that. Neither of you deserves to go through this much shit because of a stupid lie. Don’t do it again, Griffin.”

“I won’t. I can promise you that.”

 

_Everything will change, nothing stays the same. Nobody here's perfect, but everyone's to blame._   
_All that you rely on, and all that you can save, will leave you in the morning, and find you in the day._   
_You're in my veins and I cannot get you out. You're all I taste, at night inside of my mouth._   
_Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found._

 


	10. Hymn for the weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still keep getting hate because of this story, but guys... Come on. I know Raven overreacted, but I think it's what she would do. In the show she gets angry a lot for things she can't control and she can't really see the bigger picture. When Clarke mercifully killed Finn, Raven didn't realize why she did that. And she's still quite angry about it like six months later.  
> Also, Clarke apoloizing for lying... I don't understand why there are people who think that it's wrong ? You apologize when you lie, don't you ?  
> Anyways, I shouldn't be apoligizing for my choices. You can either like them or stop reading this story, it's up to you.  
> P.s : I'm not letting the whole issue disappear like that. It's going to be adressed again, I just needed to post a light chapter.

“Did you guys have sex ?”

“Raven ! Come on !”

“What ? I just want to understand if she feels comfortable with you again.”

“She feels quite comfortable with me, if you really need to know.”

Raven grinned. “I knew my girl Griffin would go get that V !”

“Raven !” Clarke exclaimed. “She was the one who initiated it, actually.”

“Woods ? Commander Stoic Ass boned you ?” Raven giggled. “I thought you were the one wooing her.”

“I wasn’t expecting it. It was like Wednesday and she came back from work angry for whatever reason and I was painting in my study… By the way she said my name I thought she wanted to kill me right on the spot. She definitely did not want to kill me.” Clarke smirked.

“So, it was angry sex ?”

Clarke nodded. “It was. I have bruises like all over myself.”

“Was it the only time ?” Raven asked, taking a bite of her muffin.

“No, we had normal sex as well, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Okay, okay. What are you wearing for Anya’s birthday thing ?”

“I’m not sure. A dress, I guess. Any ideas ?”

“I was thinking about wearing that sort of black pantsuit I own.”

“That sounds good… Since I’m guessing Lexa’s going to wear trousers as well I should probably ditch the dress. I’m thinking black trousers, white blouse and black blazer. Possibly with heels. I’m texting Lexa to know what she’s going to wear.”

**ClarkeFromTheSky 4.56 p.m**

Hey, any ideas of what you’ll be wearing tonight ?

**Lexaaa 5.10 p.m**

Hello, love. I was thinking about the white blouse with black stripes and the black trousers that you like.

**ClarkeFromTheSky 5.15 p.m**

I just realized you and I might be kind of matching.

**Lexaaa 5.17 p.m**

Why ?

**ClarkeFromTheSky 5.20 p.m**

I wanted to wear black trousers, white blouse and black blazer. Whoops.

**Lexaaa 5.22 p.m**

You can still wear that stuff.

**ClarkeFromTheSky 5.25 p.m**

Don’t you think we’ll look weird ?

**Lexaaa  5.26 p.m**

We’ll look cute. I’m going to be home soon.

 

“Okay… Lexa and I are apparently going to match.”

“You lovebirds are going to make me sick. I should probably head home and get ready… I’ll see you at Anya’s ?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you there !”

Lexa got home shortly after, with groceries in one hand and her phone in the other.

“Well, it didn’t take you half the time I expected it to take you.”

“I was there for three hours. Three freaking hours. Why do you let me go there ?”

“Because you love going there.”

“I do, but it takes me way too much time to go grocery shopping. I’m going to take a shower now, I feel filthy.”

“Alright… I’m going to work a little while you shower and then I’ll wash my hair.”

Lexa nodded and walked upstairs. She turned the water on a got in, letting the warm water fall on top of her head. She wished she could stay there forever, but Anya’s birthday thing was at 7 and she needed to get ready. She washed her hair and body, then stepped out of the shower. She wrapped herself in a towel and walked to Clarke’s study.

“Hey, I’m done..”

Clarke turned around and let a gentle laugh escape her mouth. Lexa frowned. “You look like a racoon, your make up melted around your eyes.”

Lexa pouted, and went back to their bedroom, where she looked for her clothes. As she heard Clarke turning on the water, she thought about the first time she’d agreed to go to Anya’s birthday thing.

_“I’d like to have my sister with me this year.”_

_“I always spend the whole day with you, isn’t it enough ?”_

_“No, the birthday night is something I’ve always shared with my family. You’re the most important person in my life, Lexa. Can you at least try this year ? It’s been nine years. You used to hide in your bedroom when you still lived here. Please.”_

_“Alright. I’ll try. But if I panic, I’ll leave.”_

_Anya had teary eyes. “Thank you. Bring Clarke, I’m sure she’ll be helpful.”_

_“Yeah, it’s going to be a great excuse for her to meet everyone.”_

_The night of Anya’s birthday came sooner than expected, and Lexa found herself crying in the bathroom._

_“Lexa ? Are you okay ? You know we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”_

_Lexa opened the door. “I want to. I’m just… Incredibly nervous.”_

_“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I’ll be there. Anya will be there. So will Lincoln and Octavia.”_

_“I know. You’re right… I’m almost ready.”_

_Clarke drove them to Anya’s place not long after their conversation. They walked to the front door, with their hands interlaced._

_“You’ll be okay.” Clarke whispered, before knocking on the door. Anya came soon after to greet them, clearly happy to see them both there. Lexa walked inside, feeling a rush of emotions hit her the moment she saw all those familiar faces. She felt the tears building up in her eyes, but a reassuring hand squeeze from Clarke made everything a bit better. She felt grateful when Lincoln came to say hi and spent some time with him and Octavia._

_Then the moment she was so scared of arrived._

_“Hello, Lexa.”_

_She recognized the voice instantly, even if the person speaking was behind her. She turned around and smiled at the woman standing before her._

_“Hello, aunt Indra.”_

_“I know this must be difficult to be here, but I’m glad you finally feel ready to see us.”_

_Lexa smiled at her. “Me too. It’s been… Weird.”_

_“It has, indeed. You’ve grown into a beautiful woman, Lexa.”_

_“Thank you. This… This is my girlfriend, Clarke.”_

_Clarke smiled widely at the woman and offered her hand. “It’s really nice to meet you.”_

_“Nice to meet you too, Clarke. I’m glad to know that there’s someone taking care of my little niece.”_

_“Not so little anymore, huh ?” A man appeared behind Indra. “Hello, little one.”_

_“Uncle Gustus ! Hi !” Lexa looked excited. “Clarke, this is my uncle Gustus.”_

_Clarke shook his hand. “Nice meeting you.”_

_“Same here, Clarke.”_

_The night was peaceful, even if sometimes Lexa felt like running away or hiding somewhere. It was nice seeing her relatives, but she realized it was still painful to be with them. She agreed to go Anya’s birthday thing every year, but kept making up excuses to avoid the annual family meetings._

 

_Angel sent from up above, you know you make my world light up. When I was down, when I was hurt, you came to lift me up._   
_Life is a drink, and love's a drug, now I think I must be miles up. When I was a river, dried up, you came to rain a flood, and said drink from me, drink from me, when I was so thirsty._   
_Pour on a symphony, now I just can't get enough._   
_Put your wings on me, when I was so heavy._   
_Pour on a symphony, when I'm low._


	11. Wings

They ended up matching. They ended up looking cute.

“Damn Clexa ! You both looking fine !”

Clarke laughed at Raven, while Lexa rolled her eyes. They were all standing in front of Anya’s house.

“How long have you been here ?”

“Like ten minutes. I can’t bring myself to knock.” Raven sighed.

“You’re going to be fine. They’re normal people.”

“If they share any kind of familiarity with Anya and Lexa, I can’t believe you.”

“They do, and they’re normal.” Clarke said, knocking on the door.

Anya opened the door and smiled at the sight before her. “Clexa with matching clothes and my favourite asshole !”

“Not you too with the Clexa thing.” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“What ? It saves up some time. I can call you both using one name, I love it. Come on in !”

They walked in and introduced Raven to everyone before getting something to drink and then walking over to Lincoln and Octavia.

“Where’s Raven ?”

“She’s with Anya, she said she had something to show her. I don’t even want to know. Possibly cars.”

“They seem pretty close.” Octavia commented. “And they met like last week.”

“I know, but they’ve been spending every night together here… So, I guess they’re great friends.” Clarke said, taking a sip of her drink.

“I think they’re soulmates.” Lexa whispered.

“You what ?” Clarke looked at her with wide eyes.

“I mean… They’re both car nerds, assholes, and whatever else you might think about… And I remember Raven saying once that her soulmate was a chemistry nerd, writing formulas on their arm… Anya works in a lab. And she writes on herself sometimes.”

“Does Raven know ?” Lincoln asked.

“I don’t think so. I talked to Anya about it, but she denied it. Does Raven ever write on herself ?”

“No, she’s obsessed with the idea of fate. Says if she is to find her soulmate, they’ll find their way to her. Which is weird.” Clarke explained, sighing.

“I can understand that. It’s kind of weird to think that my sister might be Raven’s soulmate, though. I mean, she’s spent her whole life saying she didn’t want to meet her soulmate because the whole system is pointless… She definitely isn’t the relationship type of gal.”

“Neither is Raven.” Octavia shrugged. “I guess we’ll see where this’ll take them.”

After ordering their pizzas, Lexa decided to wait for the delivery boy in Anya’s front porch, allowing herself to get some time to think. After a little while, she was joined by Clarke.

“Hey, what are you doing here all alone ?”

Lexa shrugged. “Just waiting for the delivery boy.”

“We’ve just called, it might take a while… Why are you truly here ?”

“I needed time to think.”

“Think about what ? Am I intruding your alone time ?”

“No, no… You’re good. I was thinking about the whole Finn thing.”

“Oh…" Clarke's eyes suddenly saddened. "Care to elaborate ?”

“I… I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have assumed you were cheating on me. I feel so shitty for thinking so low of you. I know you’re loyal and I know you would never hurt me that way. I’m sorry, I just…”

“Lexa, it’s okay. I really appreciate the apology, but there’s no need to worry. I understand why you’d think I was cheating… I just want to make sure that you know I’d never do that to you.”

“I am aware, this is why I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The party went on, they ate pizza and some of them played Monopoly. Octavia decided to skip the game, because it usually brought out the worst in her and went to the bathroom instead. Of course she never expected to find Anya sucking Raven’s face in the hallway.

“Oh boy.” She covered her eyes with her left hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shit.” Anya muttered. “Keep this to yourself, Blake.”

Octavia nodded furiously and walked away, chuckling to herself.

“Octavia ! Where have you been ?”

“I… Uh… I went to the bathroom.” Lincoln eyed her suspiciously and Octavia giggled nervously.

Anya was scary.

When Anya and Lexa’s relatives went back to their houses, Anya, Clarke, Lexa, Lincoln, Octavia and Raven took out the booze and started playing never have I ever.

“Never have I ever been with a woman before.” Octavia started, grinning.

Anya, Clarke, Lexa, Lincoln and Raven all downed their shots, groaning.  

Lexa winked at Octavia. “Never have I ever been with a man before.”

Lincoln raised his hand and high fived Lexa. All the girls had to take a shot, except for Lexa.

“Never have I ever had a threesome.” Lincoln said, a huge grin on his face.

There was a moment of silence before Raven downed her shot. “It was fun. I was very drunk.”

Everyone laughed, and Octavia cheered commenting she’d called it.

“Never have I ever worked in a garage.” Clarke said, laughing loudly.

Raven shrugged and downed her shot, mumbling something about the others wanting her to get drunk. Octavia pouted, but took her shot anyways and Anya grinned while taking hers.

“Never have I ever owned a red car.” Anya said.

Both Clarke and Raven downed their shots quickly. “I don’t anymore, only black cars for me.” Clarke commented.

“So, after this first round, Raven’s the only one who had to drink at every question. Party much, Reyes ?” The blonde said, chuckling.

“I’m a very busy woman.” Raven slurred. “Woah…”

“Never have I ever kissed one of the Woods sisters.” Octavia said, her gaze on Anya who looked pissed.

Clarke took her shot. “I drank this happily.” She looked at Lexa and kissed her. “Do I need to take another one ?”

“Nobody else has to drink ?” Lexa asked. There was a hint of irony in her voice. “Reyes ?”

“What ? Me ?” Raven looked at her. “I’ve never kissed you.”

“Or my sister..”

Anya sighed, and threw Lexa a death glare. “Nobody has to drink.”

They kept playing their games, sometimes trying to force Anya and Raven to talk, but, even when drunk, neither of them was willing to be sincere. Octavia was the only one who actually knew that something had happened between them and couldn’t understand why they wanted to keep it a secret.

By the end of the night, they were all pretty drunk. “Good thinking when you suggested we walked here.” Lexa said, interlacing their fingers. They stumbled home together, laughing loudly at everything they saw.

“I know my sister kissed Raven.” Lexa slurred.

“How can you tell ?”

“The way Octavia came back from the bathroom… My sister and Raven were nowhere to be found… The way they both reacted to that question…”

“I don’t see why they would deny it, though.”

“They’re both badass bitches who would rather pretend to be above it all than admit to having feelings.”

_Sunlight comes creeping in, illuminates our skin. We watch the day go by, stories of all we did. It made me think of you._  
_Under a trillion stars, we danced on top of cars, took pictures of the stage, so far from where we are. They made me think of you._  
_Lights go down in the moment we're lost and found. I just wanna be by your side, if these wings could fly._  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Ranya kind of happened.


	12. Hold my hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke graduates.

A few months after Anya’s birthday, Clarke was doing her hair before her graduation ceremony. She was nervous and excited to finally be done with her college years, but also scared about having to enter what looked like adulthood to her.

“Clarke !” The blonde heard Lexa call out, and she soon realized her girlfriend was in hysterics.

“What happened ? Why are you on the floor ?” She asked, confused. She looked at Lexa who was sitting on the floor, clutching at her stomach that hurt too bad because of all the laughter.

“You know how I was going to see Anya ?”

Clarke nodded, still confused.

“Well, I just went there. I opened the damn door to find Raven in her kitchen.”

“You told me she was pretty wasted, I’m guessing your sister let her crash there.”

“Yeah, except Raven was fucking naked and I almost died.”

Clarke’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I honestly don’t think I’ve ever laughed as much as I did while driving back home.” Lexa said, getting up. “I had to control myself while I was there, but the moment I walked to my car I couldn’t keep it in anymore and I started laughing so loud I thought my eardrums would burst.”

“You think they..”

“Oh, they definitely had sex. Well, Raven told me they did and I heard Anya screaming something about slicing my throat open and then burning my body, so… Yeah.”

Clarke smiled widely. “It was about time.”

“I know, right ?” Lexa smiled. “Are you ready ?”

“Yes, I’m definitely ready. Can’t wait to be a graduate.”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, my love.” Clarke said, kissing her. “Do you know what you’ll be wearing ?”

“Yes. Do you ?”

“Yeah… I was thinking about the black dress. Nothing too fancy.”

“I like that idea… Go and finish doing your hair, I need to fix my make-up and then I’ll get dressed.”

About thirty minutes later, Clarke walked downstairs to find Lexa waiting for her on the couch. Of course the brunette was the first one to be ready.

“Are we taking your car ?”

“Yes, of course.” Lexa said, getting up. “You look beautiful.”

“And so do you. I’m surely going to make my graduation mates jealous because I got the hottest girl around.” Clarke grinned.

“Let’s go, we’re going to be late.”

“We’re never late.”

“I know.” Lexa smirked as she opened the door for Clarke.

Clarke smiled at her, still amazed by the brunette’s chivalry. Even after almost six years, Lexa still took care of her. They walked to the car and, even there, Lexa held the door open for her girlfriend. She drove to Clarke’s college, where they found a few of her friends.

Raven and Anya got there a while later.

“I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear you laughing, alright ?” Anya said, glaring at Lexa.

“What ? Would you have wanted me to cry instead ? I’m happy for you guys, I just thought I wouldn’t have to find out that way. Congrats on the sex, I guess.” Lexa said, chuckling.

“I called it. Congrats, girls.” Clarke said, hugging Raven.

“No time to congratulate us, you’re going to graduate soon !” Raven said.

“Yeah, about that… I should probably go and get my gown and cap. Go get your seats, I’ll see you when it’s done.” Clarke said, before kissing Lexa goodbye.

They went to get their seats, and both Lincoln and Octavia got there a little while later. “Damn traffic.” Octavia whispered. She glanced at Anya and Raven’s interlaced fingers and smiled to herself.

When the dean started calling names and handing out diplomas, Lexa started feeling her heart racing in her chest. The pride she felt was overwhelming. Clarke had worked so hard towards her degree, that she felt like it was the greatest accomplishment in her life. When she was stuck with biology, she knew Clarke wasn’t happy. But the moment she had started visual arts, everything about the blonde seemed to glow with happiness.

“Clarke Griffin.”

Lexa saw Anya, Lincoln, Octavia and Raven getting up and cheering loudly. She shrugged and did the same, clapping her hands as hard as she could. She saw Clarke looking at them, a wide grin on her face. When they sat back down, Lexa felt a small tear rolling down her face.

“I feel like a proud mama.” Raven whispered.

When the ceremony was over, Clarke walked to meet them. She hugged them all and kissed Lexa on the lips, smiling through the kiss.

“Thanks guys for being here.”

“Well, you were the one still in school… Us old grown ups had to come.” Anya joked.

“Now I’m one of you ! A damn adult !” Clarke cheered happily.

“You’ll regret being this happy. Adulthood sucks.” Octavia said. “Oh, I forgot you already have a damn job.”

Clarke smirked. “I have one because I had to do lots of internships ! And the guy at the last gallery loved my work, so…”

“Damn Griffin, from college student to gallery artist in one day !” Raven exclaimed.

“Time to celebrate !” Clarke said. “I need a drink !”

“I wanted to give you my gift before going to celebrate, I hope that’s okay.” Lexa whispered, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“Yeah, of course ! You know you didn’t have to get me anything, though.”

“I know, I wanted to.” Lexa said, handing her a small envelope.

Clarke cautiously took the envelope from Lexa’s hand, before placing a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek. She opened the envelope and read the short note. She gasped in surprise and she looked at Lexa with teary eyes.

“Well, guys. I hope you won’t mind coming with Lexa and I to Hawaii for ten days.”

“We what ?”

Clarke handed the note to Octavia so that she could read it and then did the same with Anya, Lincoln and Raven.

**Clarke,**

**I couldn’t think of anything appropriate to get you for your graduation. You’ve been so stressed these past few months, I thought maybe a vacation would be the best way to celebrate your graduation. I know it’s a time you want to share with your friends, and that’s why we’ll be leaving for Hawaii on Saturday morning and Anya, Lincoln, Octavia and Raven will be joining us in our ten days trip.**

**I love you**

**Lexa.**

 

_Darling, hold my hand, won't you hold my hand ?_   
_'Cause I don't wanna walk on my own anymore, won't you understand ? 'Cause I don't wanna walk alone._   
_I'm ready for this, there's no denying. I'm ready for this, you stop me falling._   
_I'm ready for this, I need you all in. I'm ready for this, so darling, hold my hand._   
_Soul is like a melting pot when you're not next to me, tell me that you've got me and you're never gonna leave._   
_Tryna find a moment where I can find release, please tell me that you've got me and you're never gonna leave. **  
**_


	13. Can't help falling in love

Saturday morning arrived fast. Clarke was still packing her stuff when she heard Lexa calling for her.

“Love, we’re going to be late ! We can’t be late !”

“I’m sorry !” Clarke called out. “I’ll be down in a minute !”

Of course it didn’t take her one minute to finish up packing. She ran downstairs about ten minutes later, with her suitcase in one hand and her purse in the other.

“All ready to go !” She squealed, placing a kiss on Lexa’s forehead. The brunette took the suitcase from her hand, since hers was already in the trunk of her car.

“Okay, let’s go.”

It took them about one hour to get to the airport and, of course, they were the first one to get there. Shortly after, they saw Lincoln and Octavia walking to meet them and then Anya and Raven were the last ones to get there.

“Alright, Woods party for six, ready to leave this city !” Lexa exclaimed, walking inside the airport. The checked in and did the security check before sitting down on the first class waiting lounge. Of course Lexa had gone all in for this trip. Her parents’ inheritance proved to be quite useful when she wanted to surprise Clarke.

“You’re amazing.” Clarke whispered in her ear. “I love you.”

“Are you saying that because you actually do or because I’m taking our extended family on a ten day vacation to Hawaii ?” Lex asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Mostly because I really do.” Clarke smirked at her.

“It looks like they’re boarding out flight.” Octavia said and they all got up.

Their hotel was amazing, five stars in front of the beach. Lexa had booked three suites, keeping the best one for Clarke and herself. She really wanted their vacation to be special. About twenty minutes after their arrival, they went to the beach.

Clarke and Raven were sunbathing, while Anya, Lexa, Lincoln and Octavia were playing with a Frisbee in front of them.

“Why didn’t you tell us about Anya ?” Clarke asked.

Raven shrugged. “I have an image to uphold.”

“Yes, but we’re your best friends. You don’t have to be ashamed because you found your soulmate.”

“I’m not… I’m not ashamed.” Raven muttered. “Anya and I are different, that’s it. When you found Lexa I knew you were in heaven, same goes for O… But I wasn’t looking for my soulmate, Clarke. She happened to appear in my life and I’m happy she finally got here. But we’re not romantic saps like you are, we’re assholes badass car nerds queens and that’s everything that matters.”

Clarke grinned. “That might be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard you saying, asshole badass car nerd queen.”

Raven rolled her eyes, but smiled nevertheless. “I didn’t know Commander had this kind of money.”

“Well, her parents’ inheritance was quite… Heavy. I’m guessing Anya has this kind of money as well.”

“I’m pretty sure she spent it all already on cars and shit. Oh, and she bought a house when Lexa turned eighteen.”

“Sometimes I forget the house we live in was their childhood home.” Clarke sighed. “I can’t help but imagine small Lexa and Anya running around.”

Raven laughed. “I’m pretty sure Anya was a scary child.”

“Yeah, she definitely was.

When the rest of the group got back, they were finally ready to get back to their rooms and get ready for dinner.

“I reserved a table for the two of us for tonight.” Lexa said, while Clarke chose what to wear.

“Really ?” Clarke looked at her girlfriend, a satisfied grin on her face.

“Yeah… It’s… A bit fancy.”

“I see. A bit fancy as in knee dress and maybe heels or a bit fancy as in floor length dress and 5 inches heels ?” Clarke asked.

Lexa smiled at her. “Knee dress and heels should be adequate, if you feel like it. Heels are not necessary I’d say it’s semi-fancy attire.”

“What will you be wearing ?”

“A suit, with a vest, probably a tie.”

Clarke thought about it for a second. “Is the black dress okay ?”

Lexa nodded. “Yes, it’s perfect. We’ll be matching.”

“We always end up matching when we dress fancy. We both think black means formal.” Clarke chuckled.

“Because black does mean formal. Now, get dressed, our reservation is in half an hour.”

They got ready and walked to the restaurant. Lexa had reserved a table on the outside, so that they could see the ocean. It was marvellous.

They ate quietly, drinking champagne, celebrating Clarke’s graduation.

“Do you know where the others went tonight ?”

“I’m not sure. I think Octavia was talking about a Mexican restaurant while we were at the beach. We can meet up with them afterwards, though.”

“Yeah… I’d like that. Even if my time alone with you can be magical.”

They ordered dessert, but they didn’t share it. Nobody could touch Lexa’s chocolate flan and Clarke was well aware of that. Not that she would let anyone touch her tiramisu, but it wasn’t important.

“Care to take a walk on the beach ?” Lexa asked, when they were done with their dinner.

“Yeah, let me take my shoes off, though.”

Lexa nodded and waited for Clarke to take her heels off, before taking her hand and leading her to the beach in front of them. They walked silently for a while, until they got to a clearly set up place. Clarke smiled at the sight, while Lexa placed both her shoes and Clarke’s on the sand.

There were candles carefully placed all around a blanket that was laid on the sand, with flowers everywhere and a bottle of champagne with two glasses. The sun was setting, painting the sky a faint mixture of pink, red and orange, leaving Clarke breathless.

Clarke looked at Lexa, who was smiling widely, but looked tremendously nervous.

“This vacation was a gift because of your graduation, I want every moment here to be special for you.”

Clarke smiled at her, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “Everything is perfect when you’re with me.” Clarke thought it was way more than that. She knew Lexa wanted every special occasion to be perfect, and her graduation was nothing less than a special occasion.

Clarke was lost in the sunset and didn’t notice what Lexa was doing, until she felt her grabbing her hand. She turned around to see that the brunette had gotten down on one knee.

She felt her heart stop for a second, before starting to race in her chest. She thought Lexa could actually hear the sound of her beating heart, for how strong it felt against her chest. For a second, all she could see were Lexa’s eyes. Once again, that forest green gaze left her breathless. Once again, she felt like everything else could disappear. Once again, the earth met the sky. And they fell in love.

Lexa was smiling, her lips trembling. “Clarke, my love. I’ve been thinking about how to do this for so long, I can’t fathom how I finally plucked up the courage to get down on one knee in front of you. I have been lost in my life, I have felt like I didn’t belong for so long… I was in a dark place before meeting you. I never thought I’d see the light again, I was accepting my fate of unhappiness and darkness. The day I met you, I knew we were destined to be together. I knew mainly because I saw a sunflower on your forearm and I had one too, but also because the colour of your eyes became the only thing I wanted to look at. Everything reminded me of them. The morning sky, the shirt on my drawer, the calm ocean, the tie that soon became my favourite. You became the light of my life, my sun, the air I breathe. You are the piece that was missing, you came into my life and filled the hole in my heart with so much more than what I deserved. My life started making sense the day I tripped over a bubbly, messy blonde’s foot. You changed my perspective on life, giving it a sense that I had lost. You made me a better person, a person I never thought I’d be.” Lexa took a deep breath. “I’m rambling, you know I do when I get nervous. Clarke Griffin, will you do me the honour of being my wife ?”

 

 _Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay ? Would it be a sin_  
_If I can't help falling in love with you ? Like a river flows, surely to the sea._  
_Darling so we go, some things were meant to be._  
_Take my hand, take my whole life too..._  
**_'Cause I can't help falling in love with you_ **

 

 

 


	14. Just say yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter :)

The light in Clarke’s eyes was illuminating the whole beach. Lexa felt her heart ache when she saw the blonde in front of her crying uncontrollably.

Lexa’s smile faltered at Clarke’s silence. She began getting nervous, scared that the blonde might reject her. Was is too early ? Was her speech inappropriate ? Was she scaring Clarke away ?

“You…” Lexa’s voice trembled. “You can say no if you’re not ready. Or if you don’t want to marry me at all. I don’t want you to feel obliged because we’re soulmates. I won’t react badly if you say no. I might die, but that’s another story..”

“Oh, shut up, you dork.” Clarke finally said. “You made me so happy I forgot how to speak for a minute or so.”

Lexa looked at Clarke expectantly, still kneeled in front of her.

“Of course I’ll marry you.” Clarke stated, bringing Lexa up to her level so that she could kiss her.

“Thank goodness.” Lexa mumbled, before hugging Clarke. She started crying as well, holding onto Clarke for dear life.

Lexa then pulled away, shifting her gaze from the box in her hand to Clarke’s promise ring. “I should probably take this off.” The blonde commented. “Maybe I can wear it on the other hand, or in a necklace or something.”

Lexa took the engagement ring off the box and then proceeded to slide it on Clarke’s ring finger. “It fits.”

Clarke chuckled and looked at the ring that now sat on her finger. It was a platinum ring with four sleek, tapered prongs, with a round brilliant diamond elevated above the shank. “It’s beautiful. I love it. I love _you_. I can’t believe you managed to surprise me once more… I don’t think I’ll ever stop being grateful because I have you.”

“I love you too.” Lexa said. “Guys, you can come out now.”

Clarke looked at her confusedly until she saw Anya, Lincoln, Octavia and Raven popping out of a bush nearby. She looked at Lexa.

“What ? It had to be special. You would want your friends with you. And I’d definitely would want my family with me. Plus, I needed someone to record the whole thing.”

“Now I’ll have to watch myself stare at you for two full minutes crying my eyes out while you look like I’m about to cut your head off. Enticing. I’m joking, I’m happy they’re here, really.” Clarke laughed. “I always make fun of those people who just stare at their proposing significant other without saying anything and I almost forgot to say yes myself.”

“Congrats, guys !” Octavia exclaimed. “I’m so glad Clexa are getting married !”

“Thank you, O.” Clarke smiled at her as she hugged Raven. “Are you guys going to stop with the whole Clexa thing now ?”

“Never.” Raven smiled. “Now that you’ll be getting married it will be your official name.”

Lexa glanced at Clarke mischievously, and the blonde nodded at her. “My dear Reyes, you might want to know that since you enjoy calling us Clexa, we came up with a name for yourself and my sister.”

“Lexa Woods. I really didn’t expect such treason from you.” Raven said, giggling. “Wasn’t Octaven enough ?”

“It’s never enough when it comes to annoying you.” Clarke commented. “Plus, Octaven is your platonic sisterly relationship with Octavia.”

“Am I the only one who’s free from all this nonsense ?” Lincoln asked.

“Of course not.” Raven said, grinning. “You’re the male part of Linctavia.”

“The male part of what ?”

“Linctavia.” Raven repeated. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but… Linctavia was born before Clexa did. Accept it, dude.”

“Yeah, she’s right.” Lexa said. “Anyways… Get ready to answer to… Ranya !”

“Ranya ?” Anya snorted from laughter. “It sounds like something really bad.”

“And that’s exactly what you two are. I don’t know what the universe was thinking when it decided it would be a great idea to bring together Mrs Raven SnarkyCommentsAndCrappyJokes Reyes and Mrs Anya IronicAssholeViolenceIsMyJam Woods.”

“Are… Are those our official names, Sexy Lexy ?” Raven laughed.

“Those are your names. I checked your id’s. And my name is definitely not Sexy Lexy.”

“I’m sure it is, babe.” Clarke interjected. “I like it.”

 

_I'm running out of ways to make you see, I want you to stay here beside me, I won't be ok and I won't pretend I am._   
_So just tell me today and take my hand, please take my hand._   
_Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back. it's not a test, nor a trick of the mind, only love._   
_It's so simple and you know it is, we can't be to and from like this_   
_All our lives, you're the only way to me, the path is clear, what do I have to say to you ?_   
_Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back, it's not a test, nor a trick of the mind, only love._   
_Just say yes, cause I'm aching and I know you are too, for the touch of your warm skin, as I breathe you in._   
_I can feel your heart beat through my shirt. This was all I wanted, all I want._

 


	15. Yellow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter because it's my birthday and I'm feeling twenty-two... And super nice :)  
> Enjoy !

“Have you thought about your surname ?” Clarke asked as she was typing away in her laptop.

Lexa looked up from her book, a confused frown on her face. “Have I thought about my surname ? Why ? It’s Woods, you should know it by now.”

Clarke giggled. “I meant like wedding-wise. What are you going to do with it ?”

“I haven’t really thought about that. Have you ?” Lexa said, closing her book.

“I always thought I’d keep mine. I like it, plus, I’m an only child and only way to keep our family legacy alive. I’m not so sure now, though… Maybe we could hyphenate ?”

“I guess we could. I like my surname as well, but I don’t need to worry about keeping our family legacy alive, since asshole queen Anya definitely won’t change her surname to Reyes if they ever get married.”

“We still have time to think about it, though.” Clarke shrugged.  “I like Griffin-Woods. Or Woods-Griffin.”

“I like Griffin-Woods better.”

“I know you have a thing for alphabetical order.” Clarke said, smirking at Lexa.

Lexa blushed. “I do. Have you decided  about your maid of honour ?”

“Yes and no. I don’t want to have either Octavia or Raven be jealous or mad about it… I don’t know who I should pick. They’re both like my sisters. Have you thought about that ?”

“Yes. Of course Anya will be my maid of honour. Even if I don’t know if I should call her that… Maybe best man would be appropriate, since I’ll be wearing a suit.”

“Am I going to drool all over you ?”

“Likely. Are we still having a black and white wedding ?”

“I still think black and white would be fitting. I don’t plan on having a salmon wedding, if that’s what you’re talking about.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think I’d want a salmon wedding ? Do you even know me ?”

“I’m sure if I were to let you decide everything we’d both end up wearing all black. A bit of white seems fitting.”

“It is ! Wait, hang on. Raven texted me. I wonder what this is going to be about.” Lexa said, irony sipping from every word she said.

**TheGreatMechanic 3.45 p.m**

Hello my dear friend Lexa. I’m sure you’ll remember how much I love you during this time of myself being occupied with things that differ from being an awesome friend to you.

**Lexaaa 3.47 p.m**

Hello, Raven. What exactly is this about ?

**TheGreatMechanic 3.48 p.m**

Are you with smarty pants Griffin ?

**Lexaaa 3.54 p.m**

Affirmative.

**TheGreatMechanic 3.55 p.m**

Has she talked to you about her maid of honour yet ?

**Lexaaa 3.57 p.m**

Reyes. I am not allowed to talk to you about that, you should be aware.

**TheGreatMechanic 4.01 p.m**

Come on, Commander of my ass ! I NEED TO KNOW

**Lexaaa 4.10 p.m**

You can ask Clarke. Besides, she’ll tell you guys tonight.

**TheGreatMechanic 4.12 p.m**

You know I can’t do that ! Plus, I can’t wait anymore ! I need to be prepared ! You know what ? Either you tell me, or I’ll send you a pretty explicit text describing what your sister and I did last night

And this morning

And during lunch

And like twenty minutes ago

Oh and I think she’s calling me right now because she wants me AGAIN (I’m definitely not complaining)

**Lexaaa 4.15 p.m**

You would not.

**TheGreatMechanic 4.17 p.m**

Lexa, your sister never gets tired of me. Let me tell you that your she has some amazing fingers. I need to ask Clarke is you can move your hands the way Anya does, because if you can… I mean, we’re two lucky girls. The Woods sisters and their slender fingers.

If you want, I can explain to you what she did to me. I don’t think I’ve ever screamed anyone’s name as much as I screamed hers last night. Maybe I could even convince her to let me send you a few pictures.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa sighed.

Clarke looked up from her laptop and tilted her head to one side.

“Raven is threatening me.” She sighed again. “She said she wants to know about your maid of honour or she’ll describe what my sister did to her during sex. I can’t. Do something. She’s already started talking about Anya’s fingers. Oh, boy. There’s another message.”

**TheGreatMechanic 4.19 p.m**

And don’t get me started on her tongue. That thing is pure magic.

“CLARKE !” Lexa exclaimed. “She’s talking about her tongue ! My sister’s tongue ! Oh my God ! I need bleach for my freaking brain !”

Clarke snorted with laughter and grabbed her phone.

**ClarkeFromTheSky 4.21 p.m**

Reyes, stop harassing my fiancée. You’ll make her throw herself out of the window.

**TheGreatMechanic 4.22 p.m**

I just want some insight. You won’t say a thing and I need to know.

**ClarkeFromTheSky 4.25 p.m**

You’ll know soon enough. I mean, we’re having dinner tonight. Lexa is making gagging noises, what did you tell her now ?

**TheGreatMechanic 4.28 p.m**

I might have described something a bit too graphically. Let me just tell you that I enjoy being explicit with her. :D

**ClarkeFromTheSky 4.30 p.m**

I think you broke her. I’m pretty sure she’s crying now

“I’m sorry about Raven.” Clarke said. “She won’t even tell me what she told you, so it must be upsetting.”

Lexa looked pale. “She’s trying to kill me.”

“She’s curious. You know she can be quite persistent.”

“Quite persistent ? I definitely did not need to know about my sister’s kinks.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.”

 “I still need that bleach for my brain, go get it.”

“Oh, come on. I need to get ready before we leave… I’m so excited about finally saying out loud who is going to be my maid of honour. I don’t know if they’re more excited about actually knowing or because with that they’ll be able to start thinking about our bachelorettes.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that… I mean… A party organized by my sister… There is a possibility I won’t make it to our wedding, since I might be dead.”

“You won’t die. Plus, since we have to have them on separate days, you’ll have yours two days before the wedding. Plenty of time to recover from your hangover. Think of your future wife to be who’s going to be downing Tequila like crazy. I’ll only get one day to recover.”

“You really think two days will be enough ? Anya will organize the party, with Raven by her side. Which means that I’ll be drinking entirely too much and I’ll probably end up sleeping in a park because nobody else will be sober enough to realize that we’re in a park.”

 

_Look at the stars,, look how they shine for you, and everything you do, they were all yellow._   
_I came along, I wrote a song for you, and all the things you do, and it was called "Yellow"._   
_So then I took my turn, what a thing to have done, and it was all yellow._   
_Your skin, your skin and bones, turn into something beautiful._   
_Do you know, you know I love you so._   
_I swam across, I jumped across for you, what a thing to do._   
_'Cause you were all yellow,_   
_I drew a line, I drew a line for you, what a thing to do, and it was all yellow._

 


	16. Always in my head

Lexa had reserved a table for six at Harper’s : Anya, Clarke, Lincoln, Octavia, Raven and herself.

Clarke had insisted on having an official dinner to reveal their maids of honour. She had also insisted on wearing fancy clothes, as her floor length black dress suggested. Lexa, on the other hand, was wearing a simple white shirt, a black vest and a black skinny tie, with black trousers.

They stood in front of Harper’s for about ten minutes before Octavia and Lincoln showed up. Lincoln was pretty much dressed the way Lexa was, while Octavia was wearing a floor length long sleeved dark wine dress.

“I’m glad I said fancy clothing. You two look amazing.” Clarke commented.

“We know, we always do.” Octavia said, slightly shrugging. “You guys look alright.”

Clarke nudged her and Octavia laughed loudly. “I’m kidding, outstanding as always. But, I mean… With that good earth cleavage of yours and Lexa’s body how could you not ?”

After about five minutes, Anya and Raven joined them. Anya was in a strapless floor length flowy dark purple dress, while Raven was wearing a tight floor length night blue dress.

They entered the restaurant and sat and their table, casually looking through their menus before ordering their food and a bottle of nice wine.

As they were waiting for their main course, Clarke cleared her voice.

“So, as you all may now, Lexa and I gathered you here because we wanted to announce who among you guys will be our maids of honours.”

All the attention was on her, who was set to make the announcement first. “I thought about it a lot. I was actually thinking about it even before Lexa asked me to marry her, so… It’s been a long time. Anyways… Octavia, Raven, you’re both like sisters to me. I love you both with my whole heart and I don’t know what I’d do without either of you. Which is why I have decided I’ll be having two maids of honour, I couldn’t choose between you two.”

There was a moment of silence before both Octavia and Raven got up to hug her. Lexa smiled at the sight before sipping her wine.

“I’m actually glad you said that.” She began. “Because I wanted both Anya and Lincoln to be my best men.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nope. I wanted to talk to you about it, but you were stressed enough with your own choice and I didn’t want to bother you, so… Yeah. We both thought the same thing.”

“No wonder y’all are soulmates.” Raven said. “No, I’m just really glad. I know it’s hard to decide, but having us both is one of the best decisions you’ve ever taken, Griffin. Same goes for you, Woods.”

Octavia remained silent, grinning widely.

“Is mama G coming ?”

“Yes. She got mad at me when I told her it was Lexa who proposed… But she’s coming.” Clarke explained. “And I think I’m going to ask Marcus and her to walk me down the aisle. Of course I always imagined it would be my dad, but… Well, he can’t. Marcus has been a friend of ours for so long, he’s always been there, and he never left us.”

“Ol’ Kane has always been a good person. I’m glad your mum married him, I’m glad someone’s making Abby happy again. She deserves it.” Octavia said, her grin still wide.

Clarke nodded and looked at Lexa. “I don’t really know if I want to be walked down the aisle. I was thinking I could wait for you there.”

“That’s okay. You can do anything that makes you comfortable.”

When they were done eating, they payed for their meals and walked outside.

“Maybe we could go get something to drink ?” Clarke asked.

“I’m a bit tired, I think we’ll be heading home.” Octavia commented.

“Yeah, us too. I have to work in the morning.” Anya agreed.

Clarke smiled sadly at them. “That’s okay, I guess we’ll go home as well.”

They headed home, thinking it was a good idea to go to bed early. “You do know that they’re not going home, right ?” Lexa asked after a moment of silence.

“What do you mean ?”

“You missed the mischievous look on Raven’s face ? They’re probably going to go somewhere together to get ready for the doomed bachelorettes, I’m so scared.”

“How did I not notice ?”

“You need to pick up on small details, my dear. What do you think they’ll make us do ?”

“I already know there’s going to be a lot of drinking. I’m pretty sure they’re going to give you random penis shaped things since Raven is always saying how you’re penis-intolerant. I’m not sure about anything else.”

“Oh, no. Reyes is going to make me drown in penis shaped things. How am I going to survive my bachelorette ?”

“Well, with Tequila.”

“Yes, but I need to be alive for when we actually get married.”

“I guess I’d like you to be alive, yes.”

"I'll see what I can do. The fact that you won't be there kind of scares me." Lexa chuckled. "You always know how to stop Reyes from going too far... Now I'm afraid she won't know where to stop, because Anya will make her go even further than usual. I'm likely going to die."

"If you die, I'll kill you. You can't die before our wedding."

"How are you going to kill me if I'm already dead ?"

"Those are useless details I'll take care of when I need to."

 

_I think of you, I haven't slept, I think I do, but, I don't forget._   
_My body moves, goes where I will, but though I try my heart stays still, it never moves, just won't be led._   
_And so my mouth waters, to be fed, and you're always in my head._   
_This, I guess, is to tell you you're chosen out from the rest..._


	17. All I ask

“I can’t do this.”

“Of course you can. It’s not like you have much of a choice.”

“I could stay here, with you.”

“Nope. I’m spending the night watching movies and eating my weight in popcorn and chicken nuggets.”

Lexa pouted. “I wish I were you.”

“My turn’s tomorrow night. Go on, it’ll be fun.”

“It won’t be fun when you find out they took me to Vegas at four in the morning and I got married to some stranger before marrying you.”

“I will be pissed if she’s better than me.”

“Who says its’ going to be a she ? Drunk me might think she’s bisexual.”

“Sober you knows you’re a lesbian who gags anytime someone mentions the word penis.”

“Sober me sometimes forgets that she’s the only lesbian in our group of friends.”

“Sober you should be aware that Raven enjoys talking about her past sexual partners to spark Anya’s fury.”

“Sober me knows that Raven likes to talk about party girl Griffin as well. I might have heard the story of how she walked in on you blowing a dude who looked like he was high on acid a thousand times. I feel like I’ve lived it through her eyes.”

“I don’t know why she likes that story so much.”

“Might be the guy high on acid, or how he almost doubled over when the door swung open.” Lexa shrugged.

“You shut up ! People make mistakes ! Now go, I can’t listen to you talk about acid guy anymore.”

Lexa smirked at her. “Have fun with your movies and chicken nuggets, I’ll be back sometime.”

“Have fun, try not to marry strangers while you’re at it. I love you.”

Lexa had no idea what Anya and Lincoln had prepared for her bachelorette. She only knew that she was supposed to meet them at Polaris around nine o’clock, wearing comfortable shoes. Did they really expect her to wear heels on her bachelorette ?

When she spotted Lincoln and Octavia waiting for her, she smiled at them. “Why the comfortable shoes ?”

“Raven said, and I quote, we’re getting this bitch smashed and comfortable shoes are a necessity when you’re drunk. Wouldn’t want bitch commander to fall on her ass.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Commander bitch is new.” She noticed Raven and Anya running to meet them.

“I have two  gifts for you, Commander bitch.” Raven said, smirking. “It’s the first couple of many gifts.”

Lexa sighed loudly as Raven gave her a headband with a penis on the top and a black shirt with penises drawn all over. “You’re wearing this all night long.”

“I hope I drink so much I lose it. Why did you write on the shirt ? Oh boy.” Lexa snorted with laughter. “I’m a lesbian.”

“Seemed appropriate ! Wouldn’t want horny men to hit on you on your bachelorette !”

“Definitely appropriate.” Lexa rolled her eyes. “So… What’s the plan ?”

“We’re drinking. Well, you’re drinking. We’re filming you.”

“I’m not drinking on my own !”

“Of course you’re not, but we won’t be drinking as much as you will be.”

“Seems fair.”

“Let’s go ! Bride to be here needs her dose of vodka asap !” Anya said, and Lexa laughed as they walked inside Polaris. They ordered rounds of shots, different types of liquor burnt Lexa’s throat as Lincoln took pictures of the quite drunk girl. He sent a few to Clarke who chuckled quietly to herself.

Lexa was right, they did end up in a park, but Lincoln was sober enough to realize where they were and found a way to bring them all home. Lexa had lost her keys and he begrudgingly rang the bell to her house. Clarke opened the door a few minutes later, clearly amused. Lincoln was trying to keep Lexa on her feet, but he looked like he was going to vomit on their front door. Raven was already home, and Octavia was sitting on the driveway, holding her head.

“Had fun ?”

Lincoln nodded slightly. “She’s drunk.”

Clarke laughed, and helped Lincoln get Lexa inside. As they lowered her on the couch, Lexa started giggling.

“I said I was gonna die.”

Luckily, Clarke had already settled a bucket next to the couch, and Lexa proceeded to vomit in it the moment she finished talking. Clarke held her hair back and thanked Lincoln as she rubbed soothing circles behind her fiancée’s back.

“You’re not going to die.” She whispered.

“Your voice is soft. I love your voice.” Lexa said once she was done puking.

“You love my voice ?” Clarke said, amused.

Lexa nodded. “I love you.”

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

As Clarke was getting ready for her bachelorette, Lexa was reading her book. She had a few candles on the nightstand and a glass of water next to them. 

“I’m ready, wish me luck !”

“Considering that I still feel drunk from last night, I’m not sure a simple good luck will be enough. Have fun !”

Clarke left. She had been advised to wear comfortable shoes, just as Lexa had. She already knew it was because she was meant to get wasted. She was happy to have a whole day to recover, because she was sure Raven and Octavia had something terrible prepared for her. She was excited and worried at the same time and laughed hard when she found Raven and Octavia in front of Polaris holding a vagina shaped hat.

“Well, usually women that are meant to marry a man are covered in penis shaped things, we did it for Lexa because she’s penis-intolerant and we also guessed that since you’re marrying a woman, you should be wearing this fabulous hat.”

“Sounds fair.” Clarke laughed. “It kind of makes sense. And it's definitely a fabolous hat.”

Raven proudly placed the hat on top of Clarke’s head and they took selfies while waiting for Anya to show up. She eventually did and they entered Polaris, ready to get their party started. Octavia thought it was a good idea to take a shot any time someone commented on Clarke’s hat. Which happened a lot, since it was Friday night and Polaris was full of people. They ended up downing fifteen shots in one hour, which caused Clarke to become a laughing mess.

Lexa woke up from her slumber on the couch and realized that Clarke wasn’t home yet. She checked her phone and found about twenty incoherent messages from Clarke, ten pictures from Raven, a video sent from Octavia and somewhat normal text messages from her sister and cousin. She figured they were at least a bit sober. She checked the time, it was almost six in the morning. She started getting kind of worried, remembering that Clarke had left at half past nine. She expected her fiancée to be home around four in the morning, but decided she was just having fun before their wedding. She answered to all the messages she had received, but when nobody responded after about one hour, she realized something might be actually wrong.

She tried calling Clarke first, her call went directly to voice mail.

“This is Clarke Griffin’s phone, if you’re listening to this and really need to contact me, try calling Lexa, I’m sure she’ll pick up… Byeeee”

Same went with Octavia’s phone. She tried with Raven’s.

“Reyes here, I’m probably asleep or having a threesome with someone more interesting than you, try again ! Ow... Anya, don't punch me, I was kidding !”

She smiled at Raven’s voice mail before trying to call Anya. She was hopeful when the call went through, but felt frustrated when her sister didn’t pick up. She tried with Lincoln, but it went directly to voice mail. She kept trying to call Anya, but after eight a.m, her phone went straight to voice mail as well.

What was happening ?

 

  _I will leave my heart at the door, I won't say a word, they've all been said before, you know._ _So why don't we just play pretend, like we're not scared of what is coming next, or scared of having nothing left._ _Look, don't get me wrong, I know there is no tomorrow.  
_ _All I ask is if this is my last night with you, hold me like I'm more than just a friend._ _Give me a memory I can use, take me by the hand while we do what lovers do._ _It matters how this ends..._ _Cause what if I never love again?_


	18. Mama said

“Clarke please, tell me you’re fine.”

She knew it was pointless, but trying wouldn’t hurt. What was she supposed to do ? She knew she couldn’t call the police, they were probably passed out somewhere because they drank too much, but still. She was worried and had nobody to talk to.

It was ten a.m when a knock on the door startled her. She felt a rush of relief running through her body and ran towards the door, but her smile suddenly faltered when she saw the two people standing in front of her.

Abby Griffin and Marcus Kane.

Oh, shit.

How was she going to tell Clarke’s mother and her husband that she was missing ?

“Oh, hello !” She said, trying to regain her composure.

“Hi, Lexa.” Marcus smiled at her, she smiled back.

“Hello, is my daughter still sleeping it off ?”

Panic filled Lexa’s chest. “I… I..”

“Please tell me it’s not happened again.” Abby said, rolling her eyes.

“What ? What do you mean ?”

She remembered that they were still on the doorway and motioned for them to follow her inside. She offered them a glass of water and they resumed the Clarke talk.

“She never came home, right ?”

Lexa nodded slightly.

“As you might now, my daughter used to drink a lot, courtesy of Raven Reyes. The summer of her first college year, she came back home to spend some time with us since we were getting married.” Abby explained. “She took Raven and Octavia with her, which seemed fair. What I didn’t know was that their drinking habits were spiralling out of control. One night, which I think was Raven’s birthday, they left saying that they were going to be late. Of course I didn’t think that being late meant getting a call from a clearly still drunk Clarke after lunch time saying that they were somewhere in the highway.”

Lexa stared at her with wide eyes.

“I couldn’t understand how they got there, because they weren’t driving. I spent the whole night and morning panicking, thinking I'd get a phone call from some police officer telling me that they were all dead, butchered in some abandoned pit. I found them and a mother should never see her daughter the way I saw Clarke.”

Marcus laughed softly as Abby took a sip of her water.

“Raven had lost a shoe, I’m not sure how, Clarke was wearing one of Octavia’s shoes which are two sizes too small for her and I still can’t picture how it happened. Clarke’s hair was dyed half pink and half purple, Raven’s was shaven on the left side and Octavia’s was green. They were all missing most of their clothes, which was disturbing. They said they didn’t remember anything that had happened and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.”

Lexa was stunned. Sure, she knew the girls enjoyed partying, she’d seen it with her own eyes, but Abby’s story was incredible.

“So you think we’ll find my wife to be with pink hair ?”

“That’s a possibility, yes.”

Lexa sighed. “So, what do we do ? Are we supposed to wait for them to call or what ?”

“They could be anywhere, I guess we should go check the hospitals.”

“Yes, that’s a good idea. Let me get my car keys.”

They visited the three hospitals in town and they couldn’t find the group anywhere. They tried Polaris and Clarke’s favourite places in the city, but they didn’t find them. They went back home, waiting for Lexa’s phone to go off.

When it finally did, it was almost four in the afternoon and Lexa felt like she was having a heart attack.

“Hello ? Clarke ?”

“Lexa, it’s me..”

Clarke’s voice was huskier than usual, it sounded still heavy from sleep.

“Where are you, are you okay ?”

“We’re all okay, don’t worry. I’m sorry this happened, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, love. If you’re all okay, it’s fine. Where are you ?”

“I’m pretty sure we’re in Azgeda City.”

“How did you get there ?”

“I honestly have no idea. We’re in a park, I think it’s called Nia’s Memorial.”

“I’ll be right there, your mother and Marcus are with me.”

“Oh, then I guess she already told you about the last time.”

“She did ! I’m coming to get you. I love you.”

“I love you too, I’m sorry !”

Lexa got up and placed her phone back in her pocket before turning to Abby and Marcus.

“We’re going to Azgeda City !”

“Azgeda City ? Isn’t it like one hour and a half from here ? How did they get there ?”

“You know Raven is very resourceful.”

They walked to Lexa’s car and then she drove them to the park where Anya, Clarke, Lincoln, Octavia and Raven were. They found them laying on the ground and Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.

Anya had her face on the ground, and she looked like she’d lost her shoes. Both of them.

Lincoln was sitting next to a tree, his head was between in knees and he kept mumbling something about how girls were going to kill him. He wasn’t wearing a shirt.

Octavia was the only standing one, but she looked like she had seen a ghost. Nothing else seemed weird about her.

Raven was on top of Anya, holding her girlfriend’s shoes. She was asleep, but looked pretty normal.

Clarke was laying on a bench, her eyes were wide open. She was wearing what looked like a really weird hat, but it was broken in half and it was hard to make out what it was. The moment she realized that Lexa was there, she ran to meet her, but regretted the sudden movement as soon as she bolted to her feet.

She stumbled towards her fiancée who grabbed her when she was close enough.

“Are you okay ?”

“I’ve been better. I’ve been worse as well, though. It’s all good. My hair is still the right colour, isn’t it ?”

“You’re still a blonde, no worries.” Lexa laughed.

“Alright, alright. Good to know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, no need to apologize. I was worried, but you know me. I’m a worrier.”

“Rightly so.”

 

_When Mama said that it was okay, mama said that it was quite alright our kind of people had a bed for the night and it was okay._   
_Mama told us we are good kids, and daddy told us never listen to the ones pointing nasty fingers and making fun, 'cause we were good kids._

 


	19. I Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clexa wedding on August 1st and then I might add an epilogue at the end of the whole thing.

“LEXA !”

Lexa bolted upstairs when she heard Clarke screaming from the bathroom. She opened the door to find Clarke staring in disbelief at her shoulder through the mirror. Lexa’s gaze shifted from Clarke’s eyes to her shoulder and then started laughing loudly, tears spilling from her eyes. Both Abby and Marcus had come to see what was going on and were confused by Lexa’s laughter echoing through the house.

“My dear, I already know you love me…” Lexa laughed again. “There’s no need to get a tattoo of my name on yourself to prove it.”

“I don’t even remember getting this. What the fuck happened last night ? Show me your shoulder.”

Lexa unbuttoned her shirt and exposed her shoulder enough for Clarke to see the scar-like marking on her skin. “I’m going to have my name on myself forever, amazing. I feel like those narcissistic people who get their names tattooed.”

“I hope I’m the only one who got it, wouldn’t want Anya to go around with your name tattooed on herself.”

As if summoned, Raven called her right that second.

“So, apparently I thought it was a good idea to get Anya’s name tattooed on my foot. She had the same idea, but with my name instead. Tell me we’re not the only ones.”

“Nope, I got Lexa’s name tattooed as well. I’m gonna call O to see if she was the intelligent one. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye, Griff.”

“So, apparently Raven and Anya did the same, with their names, though. I’m going to call O to see if she did too.” She dialed Octavia's number and waited for her best friend to pick up.

“Hey, O… Listen, do you maybe have new tattoos on yourself ?”

“New tattoos ? Why ?” Octavia sounded  genuinely surprised, maybe she had been the intelligent one.

“Because Anya, Raven and I do. We were wondering if you did as well.”

“Let me check real quick.”

Turns out neither Octavia nor Lincoln had been the smart ones. “Well, the whole gang got one, you’re the only one missing.”

“Yeah, because my bachelorette party was fun, but I was only mildly intoxicated.”

“You weren’t mildly intoxicated, you were wasted.” Clarke laughed.

“Still, not as drunk as you were, apparently. Now, it’s time for me to leave, I’m sleeping at Anya’s tonight, Octavia and Raven should be here soon !”

“Try not to have too much fun tonight with Anya and Lincoln, I wouldn’t want you to be too tired tomorrow.”

“Only if you promise you’ll try to be sober for our wedding tomorrow.”

“I promise I’ll be sober. I’ll see you at the aisle, if we can call that an aisle.”

“I’ll meet you there. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Lexa left with a small bag, her suit and make up were ready for her at Anya’s place, she couldn’t risk Clarke seeing any of it. She drove her car to her sister’s place, just in time to meet Raven before she left.

“I’m glad to see that you’re still alive, Reyes.”

Raven groaned. “Two bachelorettes in two nights can be pretty tiring.”

Lexa nodded. “Of course, if you drink more straight Vodka than your body weight.”

“Go, have fun, Woods. I’ll be heading to your house to make your girl regret saying yes.”

“Please, don’t. I really want Clarke to be there tomorrow. Alive. And still willing to marry me.”

“Of course, Woods, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow !”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lexa sat down on her sister’s couch and almost gagged when she saw Anya walking from the kitchen with two glasses of wine.

“Anya, are you on drugs ?”

“What ? Why ?”

“I found you this morning face down in a park ? You are still too drunk to remember ?”

“But I don’t need to remember, Lexa. It’s your last free day.”

“Clarke and I are getting married tomorrow, I’m not going to prison.”

“Might as well.”

“Nothing is going to change between us ! We’re basically already married, we’re just making it official.”

“If you say so… No wine, then ?”

“No wine. I can’t get smashed the day before my wedding. I’m still trying to get over the headache from the other night. And the heart attack you all gave me last night.”

“It wasn’t planned.” Anya laughed.

“I don’t even know how it happened.” Lincoln said, finally joining them. “I only know that you found us in a park and that now we all have our soulmate’s name tattooed. It’s never happened to me before, I can’t remember anything from that night… I only found some regrettable pictures of my phone.”

“That’s like the best part.” Lexa said, grinning. “Clarke went a bit crazy when she saw it. It was priceless.”

“At least we got something nice. Could have been worse.” Anya said, shrugging.

Lincoln looked terrified and nodded his head slightly. “Are you ready for tomorrow ?”

“As ready as I can possibly be. I’m nervous, I think I might forget my vows.”

“Sis, you wrote those when you weren’t even dating… I don’t think you’ll forget them.”

“I didn’t write them that long ago ! Stop exaggerating. I might forget them, or I might start stuttering or trip somewhere and fall on my face. Or worse, I could get too anxious and projectile vomit on Clarke’s dress.”

“That would be hilarious.” Anya said, and Lexa rolled her eyes.  “I’m joking, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“I just…” Lexa sighed. “I’m so excited about tomorrow and I want everything to be perfect, I’m so worried something might go wrong. ”

“Nothing is going to go wrong.” Lincoln said. “You’re going to be fine, everything’s going to be alright.”

 

_And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. Talk some sense to me._


	20. A thousand years

Lexa woke up with an awful feeling of emptiness in her stomach. She outstretched her arms and realized it was because Clarke wasn’t there, sleeping next to her. She blinked a few times before remembering that Clarke wasn’t there because it was their big day : they were getting married.

Clarke woke up after three hours of falling asleep. She was excited, nervous and scared for their big day. She couldn’t believe she was going to marry Lexa, she was so excited she was already shaking in the bed that felt empty without the brunette laying next to her.

Lexa got up and walked to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, took a quick shower. She then looked at her hair and silently thanked Anya for offering to do it for her. She had groaned when her sister and talked to her about it, but looking at her mane of hair, she thought the woman was an angel.

Clarke walked downstairs, finding her mother and Marcus unsurprisingly already up and functioning. They offered her a cup of coffee, which she accepted delightfully. Octavia and Raven were sitting on the couch, sipping their own cups of coffee. Octavia’s hair was already done, while Raven was still wearing curlers in hers.

Lexa went downstairs, where she found Anya and Lincoln having breakfast. She looked gratefully at the hot tea Anya had already made her and drank it happily. Lincoln was already wearing his suit’s trousers, while Anya was only wearing her white unbuttoned shirt. Lexa noticed that their three suits were neatly placed on hangers in the living room.

“Clarke, drink your coffee, then go take a shower. After that, the hair stylist and make-up artist will get here, fix your lion hair and the bags under your eyes. Did you even sleep during the night ?”

“I’m getting married in like five hours. I was a bit excited, couldn’t sleep.”

“I think Woods got up at like six to get ready.” Raven joked. “She looked so nervous last night.”

Clarke went to take a shower and then changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, then walked downstairs, where she found Octavia and Raven talking to the hairstylist and the make-up artist.

“Here comes the bride !” Raven’s cheerful voice startled her.

She shook hands with both the hairstylist and the make-up artist before sitting down on a chair that she had never seen before. She figured the two stylists had brought it in.

The hairstylist, a woman around their age, with long black hair and hazel eyes showed Clarke a few pictures of hairstyles before beginning. They had already talked on the phone, and Clarke was set on a braid crown, with her hair up. As the black haired woman started doing her magic, Clarke talked with the make-up artist, who happened to be a good friend of Octavia’s.

Lexa was ready. Her make-up was slightly lighter than usual, her hair was down and curly, with a few braids to complete the look. She was wearing a black tuxedo, and a white shirt, with a black vest. Her bow tie and pocket square were all going to be matching Clarke’s bouquet of flowers, which was made of delphiniums and white roses. Anya and Lincoln drove her to where the wedding was going to take place, right beside the tree where she’d sent her tea flying over Clarke the day they met.

She was standing beside the officiant when she saw Clarke’s limo pulling up. The first ones to get down were Octavia and Raven, who walked towards her and stopped on Clarke’s side. Then she saw Marcus and Abby getting out, and her heart started racing. She knew she was going to cry the moment she saw Clarke.

And she did.

Her fiancée looked stunning in her white dress. Clarke had told her it was a Vera Wang dress, a dream she’d had since she was a little girl. It was strapless, long and flowy. It looked amazing on Clarke.

The walk from the car to Lexa felt excruciatingly long. Lexa seemed to get further and further away with each step Clarke took. Then she was standing beside Lexa, feeling her crying next to her, holding her hand tightly.

She realized she couldn’t hear what the officiant was saying, the excitement was deafening. Then everything started making sense the moment she realized that she was facing Lexa, because they were meant to say their vows.

Lexa’s green forest eyes were watery, but her smile was the biggest one Clarke had ever seen.

“Clarke.” The brunette began. “We were destined to be together, but I feel like our love is a lot more than just soulmate affection. I promise I will be there, in good days and in bad days. I promise I’ll take care of you when you can’t or when you don’t want to. I promise I’ll be loyal to you, my heart is yours and it forever will belong to you. I will be there to share happy memories with you, I will be there when you feel like you have no more tears to cry, I will be there to embrace whatever life has in store for us. I will love you unconditionally and without hesitation, because you are the love of my life.”

“Lexa.” The blonde said. “I thought a lot about my vows. Because I want to promise you so many things, but everything seems to be so… Conventional. I can promise you I’ll love you forever. I can promise you I’ll hold you when you’re in the dark, scary place. I can promise you I’ll take you by the hand and walk with you in this journey called life. I can promise you I’ll never hurt you. Because I know I’ll do all that stuff. I will love you forever. I will hold you. I will take you by the hand. I will never hurt you.  I find myself standing here, in front of you, knowing that my heart already belongs to you, same goes with my soul. And screw till death do us apart, I’d go through hell to find you.”

 

Time stands still, beauty in all she is. I will be brave, I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this... One step closer. I have died every day waiting for you, darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more. And all along I believed I would find you, time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years... I'll love you for a thousand more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue will be up next week !


	21. The One

Aden Jake Woods was born on a Thursday night, around ten p.m.

Clarke cursed throughout the whole birth, squeezing Lexa’s hand and yelling at whoever talked to her. Lexa thanked the stars when she heard her baby boy cry for the first time, and sighed in relief when she realized how calm Clarke seemed to had gotten once she got to hold him.

Lexa cried the moment she saw for the first time Aden’s head covered in blood and his small body sliding into this world. She started shaking when he cried for the very first time, letting the world know what his voice sounded like. She got to cut the cord, and the baby was immediately handed to Clarke.

They stood just staring at his perfection and groaned when he was taken away for measurements and the usual new born stuff.

They had been married for five years and Lexa thought life couldn’t get any better. She was married to the love of her life, they had just welcomed a son, she owned her own law firm and Clarke was starting to work towards getting her own art gallery.

The year after Clarke and Lexa’s wedding, Anya and Raven had announced they wanted to adopt a child. They said marriage wasn’t for them, but a kid was. They adopted a baby boy from a couple who didn’t want him, but thought that abortion wasn’t for them. Sinclair Reyes-Woods made his first appearance on a cold December night, screaming loudly, just like his mothers. They both cried, but refused to admit it. Sinclair was a child of many surprises, fairly calm, in complete awe of his mothers.

Two years prior to Aden’s birth, Lincoln and Octavia had gotten married. It was a small ceremony at the beach, only close friends and family were there. Octavia had made fun of Lincoln for crying the whole time, but everybody knew she had secretly enjoyed it. They had decided to wait before having children, explaining they wanted to be adventurous for as long as they could. They traveled for months after their wedding, driving their Harley's and sleeping where they could.

Aden looked like Clarke and behaved like Lexa. It often made Clarke go crazy how similar to her wife their boy turned out to be. At three years old, he’d learned to say “mockery isn’t the product of a strong mind, Clarke” and used that sentence anytime Clarke said something he didn’t like.

It made Lexa fall off her chair.

They decided to have a second child when Aden was five. He kept screaming he didn’t want his sibling to be a girl, he needed a brother.

Turns out Aden was pretty unlucky, because first they found out that they were expecting twins and then that they were both girls. They tried to convince him that it wasn’t going to be that bad, he already had Sinclair who was a boy, he could play with him.

He said it wasn’t about being a boy to play boy games, because a girl could do that as well. Both his mums felt proud of their kid for knowing that games had no gender. He explained it was because he wanted to choose the name and the name of his choice was Warrior.

Lexa thanked the stars they were having twin girls.

Alycia Octavia and Eliza Raven Woods were born a month before Aden’s sixth birthday. He complained a lot about neither of them being named Warrior, but swore to protect them from the evil anyways.

Of course he was fairly disappointed when his auntie Octavia got pregnant with a girl. He scoffed and groaned when his mothers told him about a new cousin to expect, but smiled warmly at the newest addition to their family the moment he saw her. Aurora Blake was born on a Sunday morning, a month before her due date, causing a great commotion. She was a small child, but grew to be a strong woman. Octavia and Lincoln were so scared after her birth that they decided one child was enough. She was showered with love and attentions, and grew to be strong and passionate like her parents.

Aden got his first drawing one morning, while they were having breakfast. He was seventeen, his sisters were eleven and completely unaware of what was going on. Lexa was panicking, but somehow managed to keep calm as Clarke held her hand tightly. Aden didn’t talk much about his personal life, so they weren’t sure he had a significant other.

“What am I supposed to do with this ?” He asked, touching lightly the small heart that had appeared on his arm.

“You do whatever you feel like doing.” Clarke said, her voice calm. She knew Lexa didn’t trust herself to speak. “You can write or draw back, or wait till you’re ready.”

He stared at the drawing for a second before looking back at his mothers. “What did you do when you got yours ?”

“We had already met, there wasn’t much to do.” Clarke explained. She felt like their children were too little to know their story in detail. “Is there someone in your life ?”

“No, nobody.”

“Are you sure ?”

“Yes, I think I’d know.”

Lexa sighed loudly in relief and Clarke couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“What ?” Aden asked, confused.

“Let’s just say that mum’s history with drawings was a bit more complicated than usual… We’ll tell you when you’re a bit older.”

Aden frowned. “Should I write back ?”

“You do what your heart tells you to do, love.” Lexa said. “Do you want to meet this person ? Do you think you’re ready to meet them ? Do you think you’re ready to meet the person the universe has assigned you ? Because this is not a casual person. It's not someone you can toss around. This is your soulmate.”

“Were you ready ?”

“No, I wasn’t.” Lexa admitted. “The thing is that the day I met my soulmate, I knew the universe had been right. I kept it a secret for many weeks before this blonde here found out, and she had no clue it was me.”

“I’m pretty sure I knew **it was always you.** ”

 

_'Cause I knew, the first day that I met you I was never gonna let you, let you slip away. And I still remember feeling nervous, trying to find the words to get you here today.    You make my heart feel like it's summer, when the rain is pouring down. You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong, that's how I know that you are the one._   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys ! We got to the end of this series and I'm pretty happy about it. I wanted to thank anyone who has commented, left kudos or even simply read this story, you've all been amazing. It was an amazing ride, I loved writing this and I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I did.   
> I hope you're all satisfied with the ending !  
> -A

**Author's Note:**

> I want to give Raven her soulmate, but I'm not sure who it'll be. Some people ship her with Octavia, but I don't see that. I've seen her with Anya, Roan, sometimes Finn... What do you guys think ? Who should be Raven's soulmate ?
> 
> Clarke's ring if anyone's interested : http://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/rings/tiffany-harmony-diamond-ring-with-side-stones-GRP07688?fromGrid=1&search_params=p+1-n+10000-c+287466-s+5-r+101323340-t+-ni+1-x+-lr+0-hr+-ri+-mi+-pp+1368+6&search=0&origin=browse&searchkeyword=&trackpdp=bg&fromcid=287466&trackgridpos=,#p+1-n+10000-c+287466-s+5-r+101323340-t+-ni+1-x+-pu+-f+true+1-lr+0-hr+-ri+-mi+-pp+1368%2B6


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